January 7, 2020
Once upon a time, there was a Prince, who ruled over everything he could see. There were walls on the north border of his kingdom, walls on the south, and walls on the east and west sides of his kingdom. He ruled over everything within those walls. He decided when subjects would enter, and when they would have to leave. He controlled when the sun would rise, and when the set would set. He determined how warm his subjects would be in winter, and how cool they would be in summer. He provided food and drink for his subjects. He was a kind and beneficent ruler.
There was one thing, however, that the Prince could not control, and that was the pee in his bed. The pee in his bed would keep him up all night. Just as he would be getting ready to nod off, the pee would wake him up. He would rise from bed, and work on the issues facing the kingdom. He would respond to letters from his minions. He would play games provided to him by the court jester.
The Princess recommended a different kind of bed, but nothing seemed to work. She recommended a magic potion that would help him sleep better. The Prince called in the court physician, but he was not helpful. He said that old princes are often awoken at night by pee in their bed. He thought maybe sacrificing sheep would help, but the priests suggested that this would not be futile gesture. He was doomed to a life of restlessness and fatigue. At least it left no doubt that he was actually the legitimate prince of all the land.
The Spin Doctor 