October 31, 2019

It seems like we are all going to the dogs. First, Trump says, without evidence or corroboration, that the ISIS leader, al-Baghdadi, died like a dog. Then, Trump retweets a doctored image of himself awarding the Medal of Honor to Conan, the military canine used in the ISIS raid. All of this from the first President in memory not to have a dog in the White House. Even Richard Nixon had his scandal-plaqued Checkers. I am sure Donald Trump would be the first to tell you if you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. Ironically, he has no friends or dogs. I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, “2020: Any Functioning Adult.” Maybe we should add “dog,” and, by extension, Conan. Conan is fierce, brave, loyal, and reliable. He has served his country, and been injured in the line of duty. That is more than we can say about the current occupant in the White House, who needs papers wherever he goes.

October 31, 2019

Golf Digest recently published 7 reasons why one can legitimately walk off of a golf course. Here are mine. Each one has more than a kernel of truth.

1. When your playing partner, who is an OB/GYN, walks off the first hole to deliver a baby. (True story. Dr. Bruce Breit left us on the first hole of Interlachen Country Club in Winter Park, FL only to rejoin us on the 4th fairway after delivering the baby.)

2. When the 16th green is adjacent to the 19th hole. (It happens all the time at Longmeadow Country Club)

3. When the match is over, and you are near the 19th hole. (See above)

4. When your neighbor forgets to pick up your child after practice. (Happened in the finals of the Challenge Cup to an opponent. His game never recovered, and we won. I sure hope the kid made it home okay.)

5. When you take a 10 on the third hole of a 36 hole, two day, stroke play event. (Happened in the club championship…not to me.)

6. When the one ball rule is in effect, and you lose your ball. (This story, unverified, has made the rounds of MassGolf rules officials. Why ruin a good story with the facts?)

7. When your golf cart rolls into a pond with your clubs, wallets, and watches. (Actually happened, not to me, at Interlachen Country Club’s Tartan Invitational. The story got a lot worse. Demon rum.)

8. When your ability as a lightning predictor is seriously in question. (Almost got electrocuted at Mt. Snow Country Club because someone posed as a meteorologist.)

9. When it is totally dark, and your parents have no idea where you are. (It did not go well for me.)

10. When the mosquitoes are unbearable. (Counted over a hundred bites received at Mt. Hood Golf Course)

11. When you are suffering from heat stroke, and it is an uphill climb to the club house. (Almost died on the 18th hole of Sleepy Hollow Country Club.)

12. When your umbrella and rain suit are in your locker. (No comment necessary.)

13. When you live on the 11th hole, and there is beer in the fridge. (Welcome to the Fiddlesticks Member-Guest.)

14. When a disgruntled caddie steals your clubs. (Actually happened to a member at Longmeadow Country Club)

15. When state troopers show up at the course with a warrant for your arrest. (True story. Happened at The Bontempo at Franconia Golf Course in Springfield, MA)

October 30, 2019

Thanks to Donald Trump, many of us are getting to use the Latin we studied in high school for something other than solving crossword puzzles. Who said Latin was a dead language? “Quid pro quo” is all the rage. Every time you pick up a newspaper or watch a news show, it is all about “quid pro quo.” Mirabile dictu! Did Trump make military aid to the Ukraine dependent on investigating the Biden’s and the Democratic server? Trump says no “quid pro quo,” but the Latin lovers say yes, there was a “quid pro quo.”

“Quid” is the singular, nominative case (neutral gender) for the word “what.” “Quo” is the singular, ablative case. Translated, it means “one thing in return for another.” The House has initiated a formal impeachment inquiry. “Alea iacta est.” The die is cast. Where the proceedings will go is anyone’s guess, but it is the right course of action. As the motto of the Commonwealth of Virginia declares, “Sic Semper Tyrannis.” Thus always to tyrants. As we suffer through the next, and, hopefully, the last year of the Trump administration, we should all remember the Latin phrase, “Ad astra per aspera.” Through adversity to the stars. If he is reelected, “Trumpus delenda est.” In the mean time, “Illegitimi non carborundum.”

October 25, 2019

I finally agree with Trump on one thing. I am not getting “all the news that’s fit to print” from my news outlets. As Trump just ordered all federal agencies, I am going to cancel my subscription to the New York Times, and cancel my subscriptions to the Springfield Republican, the Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, and Golf Digest for good measure.

For news, I will rely on my neighbor, Bill. He seems to know what is going on. He is on the internet after all. He checks in daily to all kinds of websites, and he is on Facebook. I have to check, however, to make sure he is not being influenced by The Reminder. For local news, I will depend on the gal who cuts my hair, and the checkout lady at Big Y. They are very up to date. I think Eric Lesser and Domenic Sarno use them. I have a friend who has a Schwab account so he must have financial acumen. At least it’s cheap. I really didn’t read The Atlantic anyway so no great loss there. My regular foursome will tell me how my fantasy golf team is doing.

I’ve just saved a lot of money, and will be ready for the 2020 elections. Nice.

October 18, 2019

The defenses, or the defensiveness, of Donald Trump and his apologists never rest. It is a steady cacophony of weak arguments that highlight the weakness of this President. The first line of defense is to say that what I said I never said. Politely, this called walking it back. Truthfully, it’s called lying. The second line of defense is to say that everyone says it’s so. If everyone says it’s true, it has to be true even though nobody knows who these people are. The third line of defense is the “what about” argument. For example, that may be true, but what about Herbert Hoover, or more typically, what about Obama? Now, we have the “get over it” defense. Mick Mulvaney says that this is the way things are done in the big leagues so “get over it.” The next defense is “at least it’s not Elizabeth Warren.” After that, it’s all about the process regardless of the underlying facts. There is the deflection as in “I don’t know. Ask Rudy.” And finally, there is the “I have been too busy to read (fill in the blank.)

October 22, 2019

According to my calculations, we hit 200 Trump outrages today with his comparison of the impeachment inquiry to a lynching. Scroll down to see the entire list. It’s breathtaking. And how soon we forget.

October 13, 2019

The Labor Department has determined that it is okay to administer drug tests to recipients of unemployment benefits. That is a great idea. It is such a great idea, in fact, we should not stop there. I think anyone receiving benefits from the Federal government should be subject to drug testing. Why should the taxpayers be subsidizing anyone’s bad behavior?

Anyone who takes a deduction for mortgage interest should be peeing in a bottle. Social Security recipients, you are at the trough and you are next. Anyone who has set up a trust account to take advantage of our tax laws should be a suspect. If your health insurance is tax-deductible, say “ahh?” Did you deduct that charitable contribution you made? I could go on. As it turns out, every man, woman, and child is beholding to the government in one form or another. That does not make us a nation of drug addicts. That makes us all citizens of the United States.