March 4, 2020

Here is a piece I wrote April 22, 2019. I stand by my comments.

I am going to go out on a limb and declare Joe Biden the winner of the 2020 presidential election. Why?

• He is currently leading in the Democratic polls. Trump’s numbers are mired around 37%, and dropping.

• His age is not a factor when compared to an old and clinically obese president.

• He will bring back the Obama voters, who defected to Trump. “Anyone but Hillary” will not be a factor.

• He will win the midwestern states that Hillary Clinton lost.

• He will receive overwhelming and united support from the other Democratic candidates, whose number one goal is to beat Trump

• Whatever issues he may have regarding his past will pale in comparison to Trump’s.

• His governmental experience dwarfs Donald Trump’s.

• He is a tough, blue collar guy, who can go toe-to-two with anyone.

• His family has a history of military service. Trump’s does not.

• His platform will emphasize issues that Americans care about like healthcare and the environment.

• His pick for Vice President will emphasize diversity, a stark comparison with Mike Pence.

• Republicans quietly want Trump to lose before he destroys the party, and will stay away from the ballot box.

• Russia will not be able to interfere.

• Numerous, ongoing investigations will continue to erode support for Trump.

• Trump will get nothing done in his last two years.

Joe Biden does not have to get everyone. Trump lost the popular vote in ‘16 by 3MM votes, and Democrats won the House in ‘18 by 8MM votes. Trump won by the slimmest of margins, and he has done nothing to improve his numbers. Trump’s tide is going out.

February 28, 2020

Nobody ever got hit by an iceberg they saw coming, but we are approaching a big one. At the helm of the USS MAGA is Captain Donald Trump, who delegated the steering of the ship of state to Cruise Director, Mike Pence. If the ship hits an iceberg and goes down, it will be Mike Pence’s fault.

The Captain, in the words of Alfred E. Neumann, said, “What, me worry.” With global warming, he said that the icebergs will melt by April. In a message to the passengers, he declared that the icebergs will disappear miraculously. He actually accused a rival cruise line of planting the icebergs in his path. He fired his helmsman, and disconnected the radar. He accused the helmsman of always steering left, and said the radar was just fake news.

When the USS MAGA finally hits the iceberg, which most experts predict, the first person in the lifeboat will be Captain Donald Trump followed by Republicans and donors. With Kid Rock playing in the background, women and children will be separated, and put into different lifeboats if there are any left. Pence will go down with the ship.

February 27, 2020

In the immortal words of Forest Gump, “Stupid is as stupid does.” Now we have a profoundly stupid President trying to filibuster the coronavirus. We are supposed to believe that all we have to fear is fever itself. Everything else is a fake news campaign promulgated by the Democratic Party and MSNBC. It was those two organizations, who were responsible for Wall Street’s collapse. Economic advisor and former Fox News talking head, Larry Kudlow, who is a doctor of nothing, says we have it contained. The Idiot in Chief says April will bring more than spring flowers. It will bring the end of the pandemic.

The CDC says we need to prepare for the worse, and not create false expectations. Trump, who is also a doctor of nothing, disagrees. Mike Pence, another non-doctor, is now in charge of the U.S. response while his boss in cutting CDC funding. Maybe Trump should have appointed a college senior. And is there any question that Trump is setting Pence up to be the fall guy if the pandemic spreads? He has to blame someone.

Trump will probably get out his Sharpie, and cross out incidents of coronavirus on a map of the United States just as he disagreed with NOAA, and disseminated false information about an impending hurricane. Now he is doing the same with coronavirus. I am not with stupid.

February 24, 2020

I find it mildly ironic that my 1962 Little League baseball team from Melrose lost to East Longmeadow 3 to 2 in the state championship consolation game, and now I am an East Longmeadow resident. I played some high school and American Legion ball after that. I have followed baseball my entire life, and saw Ted Williams play at Fenway Park. This is a long way of saying I don’t get the Astros cheating scandal.

I do not doubt that they were tipping pitches, but they were doing it by beating on a garbage can. How is this possible without anyone else being able to hear it? If the batter can hear it, so can the catcher, the home plate umpire, the opposing pitcher, the third baseman, the third base umpire, and every fan sitting near the dugout just to name a few. Was everyone guilty of willful blindness? It makes no sense to me. Players and managers should be punished, but opposing teams should have been on the baseball. Play ball!

February 20, 2020

National Security Adviser, Robert O’Brien, defended the dismissals of the Vindman brothers, and their subsequent perp walks, by saying “We are not a banana republic.” Now I am confused. I guess I really don’t know what a banana republic actually is then. I thought a country qualified as a banana republic when a despot could fire a decorated war hero for responding to a lawful subpoena, and answering questions truthfully to a Congressional committee.

Banana republics are typically small countries dependent on a single export crop for their economic health. We are now being lead by a small person whose only export is bullshit. Maybe the generals should get together to foment a coup d’etat as in any self-respecting banana republic. Where are Generals Mattis and McMaster? I am sure Admirals McCraven and Stavridis would like to get involved. General John Kelly had a few choice words to say about Trump. Maybe he is ready for action. How about all of the soldiers sent to the border to protect us from women and children? They could all be led by the Secretary of the Navy, who quit in protest over Trump’s interference in military justice.

There used to be a vaudevillian called the Banana Man, who would find bunches of bananas all over his person in the most unlikely of places. Despite his orange hue, Trump is our Banana Man, and he is now pulling bananas out of his ass, making us all a banana republic.

February 14, 2020

A clown can be a rude ill-bred person, or a boor. He can be a fool, a jester, or comedian. He can be a grotesquely dressed performer. He can be a person who habitually jokes and plays the buffoon

Based on these definitions, Donald Trump is going to need a bigger car to hold himself and all of his clowns. Devin Nunez, Republican Congressman, was the Grand Inquisitor during the impeachment hearings without disclosing his personal contacts with Ukraine. Jacketless Jim Jordan appears to have looked the other way as a wrestling coach at Ohio St. while his wrestlers were being molested. Rudy Giuliani needs no introduction. Lev and Igor brought their own clown make up. Roger Stone gets the Academy Award for best costume design. Bill Barr did his Greta Garbo “I want to be alone” impression when what he was really saying was “look the other way.” John Kelly finally had a come to Jesus moment. Rex Tillerson called Trump a moron. Hope Hicks is coming back to help Jared Kushner to do exactly what again? Rush Limbaugh received the Medal of Freedom, which was for his historic freedom from the truth. Mick Mulvaney is in witless protection. There is almost no room left in Lindsey Graham’s closet to hide in.

Donald Trump fancies himself as the ringmaster, but he is really just the head clown with his orange face, yellow hair, and baggy pants. Charlie Chaplin once said, “I remain just one thing, and one thing only — and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician.” If this were only so.

February 13, 2020

Somewhere lost in the haze of the New Hampshire primary and Trump’s unprecedented takeover of the Justice Department was a story that we should all be concerned about. It is a story that we are all too familiar with. Consumer debt just set an all-time record of $1.4T, and it was propelled by mortgage debt and refinancings. Also, at a dangerous rate, people are maxing out their credit cards. Where have we seen this movie before? It could have won an Academy Award in 2008 for best horror movie.

Consumers are clearly taking their cues from Trump economic policies. At a point in the economic cycle when we should be saving our money in case of an economic downturn, consumers, like Trump, are betting this can go on forever as long as we keep layering on more and more debt. Trump’s budget projects more trillion dollar deficits. The Federal Reserve is out of bullets. Job creation has slowed, and manufacturing is down. The consumer, betting on leverage, is the only thing keeping the economy afloat. How did that strategy work for Trump’s casinos?

It is not different this time. No one ever got hit by a bus they saw coming. Here comes Peter Pan.