Everything about me screams three-quarters of a century except my right knee, which is brand new and just plain screaming. Fortunately, I got plenty of oxycodone from a Rush Limbaugh estate sale so I am managing the pain. (I know. You can’t believe I worked politics into such a joyous occasion. On the other hand, I can’t believe Donald Trump has stolen ten years of my life.) Anyway, anyone of my vintage, which went bad a long time ago, should feel free to sing along to…
They say it’s your birthday It’s my birthday too, yeah They say it’s your birthday We’re gonna have a good time I’m glad it’s your birthday Happy birthday to you
Ah Ah Ah Come on Come on
Yes we’re going to a party party Yes we’re going to a party party Yes we’re going to a party party
I would like you to dance (Birthday) Take a cha-cha-cha-chance (Birthday) I would like you to dance (Birthday) Dance yeah
Oh Come on
I would like you to dance (Birthday) Take a cha-cha-cha-chance (Birthday) I would like you to dance (Birthday) Oh dance! Dance
They say it’s your birthday Well it’s my birthday too, yeah They say it’s your birthday We’re gonna have a good time I’m glad it’s your birthday Happy birthday to you
He’s back. Trump has been in office for one month as of today. It looks like promises made, promises kept to me. Some people call this creative destruction, but they would be only half right. I guess you have to break a few eggs to make an omelette, but, with the price of eggs, who can afford to. Actually, it’s not the price of eggs that concerns me, it’s the availability. With that said, here is a recap of the first month if you are keeping score at home. Go Red Sox.
Trump pardons the January 6th violent criminals and others.
Trump discusses the relocation of 2MM Gazans to make way for the Trump Riviera.
Trump discusses annexing Greenland, and taking its valuable minerals.
Trump wants to make Canada the 51st state, leading Canadians to boo the National Anthem.
Trump wants to take back the Panama Canal because the Chinese are making inroads. I wonder why that is.
Trump is in negotiations to cede the 20% of Ukraine that the Russians illegally took in exchange for nothing. He blames Ukraine for the Russian invasion, and calls Zelenskyy a dictator. Europeans are calling him “Putin’s Poodle,” which does a disservice to poodles.
Trump wants 50% of Ukraine’s minerals as a quid pro quo. Sound familiar?
Trump allows Elon Musk and his DOGE team of twenty-year old racists to access extremely private information at the Treasury and the IRS.
Trump disbands USAID putting people all over the world in life-threatening situations.
Plane crashes in Toronto. Trump blames Pete Buttigieg, and then lays off FAA workers.
Trump lays off the IRS workers responsible for collecting billions of dollars in taxes owed by the wealthy.
Trump’s tariff proposals have created havoc in foreign governments and Wall Street.
Trumps shutters the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, the organization responsible for returning billions of dollars to consumers.
JD Vance aligns the Trump administration with far right, neo-Nazi parties in Germany.
Elon Musk celebrates the Inauguration with two Nazi salutes.
Trump nominates the least qualified cabinet in history, which Includes Gaetz/Bondi, Hegseth, Gabbard, McMahon, RFK, Jr., Noem, Patel, and Stefanik
Trump renames the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America. The AP is banned from the White Press press corps and Air Force One for not obeying. Mexico sues Google.
Trump seeks to eliminate DEI from every organization in America.
Trump announces major investments in AI actually arranged by the previous administration.
Trump family members benefit greatly from trading in cryptocurrencies. Small investors get the shaft.
Trump admits he can’t bring down prices. Eggs disappear from shelves.
Trump blames Gavin Newsom for California fires, and falsely claims he diverted water to SoCal.
Trump uses military plane to send migrants back to Columbia, a violation of an agreement that was already in place.
Trumps ousts independent Inspectors General without notice.
Trump promotes a Trump 2024 charm bracelet, and Trump crypto coin.
Immigrants stop showing up for court, work and school.
Trump assaults birthright citizenship
Trump threatens freeze on all federal grants, causing chaos.
Trump goes after transgender troops in the military, and transgender athletes.
Elon Musk says federal judges should be impeached.
FBI Agents sue over retaliatory dismissals.
Climate data is purged from governmental websites. Report on climate change is blocked.
Trump set to open more Federal lands to drilling, and kill renewable energy.
Trump makes massive cuts to NIH research funding, hurting Red States as well as Blue.
Trump suggests he may not leave.
The DJIA gets a 2% “Trump Bump.” Big whoop.
Trump makes a deal with Eric Adams to keep Adams out of jail. He then stops congestion pricing in Manhattan. Adams agrees to cooperate with deportations.
Just in…measles outbreak in Texas and New Mexico, or is that New America?
Donald Trump appoints himself Chairman of the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. It will be renames The Grand Ol’ Opry North. The JFK Library in Boston closes, then reopens, because of threatened funding cuts.
Federal Reserve sees risks of higher inflation ahead due to tariffs, deportations, and consumer demand.
Unbeknownst to me, the Foreign Policy Association has been in existence since 1918. It is dedicated to inspiring the American public to learn more about the world. It aims to spread global awareness and understanding of US foreign policy and global issues by informing, inspiring, and engaging with the public in community and educational forums. In the words of Margaret Mead, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”
The Foreign Policy Association accomplishes its mission via its program, Great Decisions. It is America’s largest discussion program on world affairs. The program model involves reading the Great Decisions Briefing Book, watching a video, and meeting in a discussion group to discuss the most critical issues facing America today. The discussions are moderated by an expert in the field. They are open to all, and welcome all points of view as long as they are respectful. I attended my first discussion group recently, which was held at the Storrs Library in Longmeadow. The topic was “America at a Global Crossroads.”
American foreign policy faces a crossroads today. To summarize, “The world economy is threatened by rising economic nationalism and protectionism, and a retreat from globalization. Growing transnational threats, such as climate change and pandemic disease, call out for new forms of cooperation, but cooperation is halting at best. The liberal internationalist system of rules and institutions, underwritten for decades by the U.S. and other major democracies, seemingly triumphant at the end of the Cold War, has weakened and fragmented.”
We are seeing this tension being played out in real time as we transition from a Biden administration that championed alliances and liberal democracies to a Trump administration that is all too willing to walk away from historic, international partnerships and organizations. Clearly, the Bidens and the Trumps have starkly different views of the world, and we really don’t know which view is going to prevail.
The Trump orthodoxy is “America First”, which is a slogan intentionally or unintentionally copied from a similar movement in the 1930’s. The “America First” movement can trace its history to the Ku Klux Klan, William Randolph Hearst, Henry Ford, and Charles Lindbergh. Lindbergh believed that Hitler was a revolutionary. America First offered up a deadly combination of racism, anti-Semitism, and xenophobia, leading to a platform of isolationism prior to World War II. They shut down their campaign after Pearl Harbor.
“America First” bases its view of the world on a stark reality. It could be called Realism or Realpolitik. Realpolitik is a system of politics or principles based on practical rather than moral or ideological considerations. In this theory of world affairs, everything revolves around the state. The goal is the defense of the state by any means necessary. The ends justify the means. Territorial integrity is everything. It is all about sovereignty, and political autonomy. In their view, international agreements, treaties, and organizations encumber the ability of the state to conduct its own business in the manner it deems best for the state. Trump and the current America First movement seek a sharp break with the American tradition of liberal internationalism. They seek to undermine NATO, the WHO, the IMF, the World Bank, the International Court, and the United Nations. They walked away from the Trans Pacific Partnership, the Paris Accords, and the Iran nuclear deal. They look to extricate the U.S. from Ukraine by ceding territory to the Russians. Taiwan may be on the table.
“America First” is vying for primacy with the current, liberal international order. In this context, liberal is not meant to be the opposite of conservative, but is an historic tradition that has its roots in The Enlightenment and the U.S. Constitution. The U.S. Constitution believed in the “inalienable” rights of the individual. The Enlightenment demonstrated that scientific discoveries could lead to political power. The three pillars that tie all countries together who believe in liberal internationalism are (1) representative democracy and the right to vote, (2) market capitalism, and (3) the rule of law. The “Biden Doctrine” essentially maintained that our success as a country was best served through strategic military and economic alliances with like-minded countries. It was simply reasserting old-fashioned liberal democracy.
What happens next? The values of the Enlightenment have weakened in an age of social media and fake news. The basic features of modern liberalism – openness, rule of law, freedom of speech, rationality and science are not as firmly fixed in place. As these foundational values and assumptions weaken, the opportunities for authoritarianism and anti-liberalism grow stronger.
Trump really stepped into again this time. Without any thought or consultation with his Secretary of State, his Defense Secretary, his Security Council, the Directors of the FBI, the CIA, the NSC, or the OMB, he suggested in an off-the-French cuff remark that the United States should take control of Gaza, expel all the Gazans, and turn their land into the Trump Palestinian Riviera. In a social media post, Mr. Trump said Gaza, “would be turned over to the United States by Israel at the conclusion of fighting,” after Palestinians had “already been resettled in far safer and more beautiful communities, with new and modern homes, in the region.”
Mr. Trump’s suggestion that the Palestinian territory — part of the land that many people hope will eventually become an independent Palestinian state — be redeveloped into a “Riviera of the Middle East,” owned by the U.S.
I think the Gazans should be grateful that developer Trump is willing to invest billions of dollars of U.S. tax-payer funds to build big, beautiful Trump hotels on the Mediterranean, and staff them with Gazans. I am sure he already has plans for some great water holes along the ocean for his Trump golf courses. Hopefully, no one will be interested in erecting wind turbines anywhere in his sight.
But why should we stop with the Gaza? Trump’s thinking opens up a whole world of possibilities well beyond making Canada the fifty-first state, buying Greenland, and taking back the Panama Canal. Floridian Trump should get together with the Floridian Secretary State, Marco Rubio, and Ron DeSantis, the Governor of Florida, to compel Disney to turn Jerusalem into a version of EPCOT. EPCOT II (the Experimental Prototype Community of Trump), like EPCOT I and Trump himself, would be dedicated to the celebration of human achievement, technological innovation, and international culture. It would be a perfect representation of everything he stands for.
Trump could start with his specialty by building a big, beautiful wall, encircling all of Jerusalem. It would be designed to keep people in rather than keeping them out. Jerusalem itself would be partitioned into three, distinct amusement parks…Christian Land, Jewish Land, and Muslim Land. The three sectors would be connected by a monorail, which would move tourists from one Trump hotel to another.
Each sector would offer its own unique set of attractions. Christian Land would showcase the world of tomorrow, Jewish Land would have the world of today, and Muslim Land would have the world of yesterday. A world food tour is one of the highlights of Epcot Florida. In Christian Land, we could have Trump steaks and Trump wine. Jewish Land would feature a wonderful selection of unleavened breads, and Muslim Land would have no food similar to the current situation in Gaza. In Christian Land, women in the military would have to pay to get in while they would be given free admittance in Jewish Land. However, no women, military or not, would be allowed to enter Muslim Land. They would have to stand outside while their husbands had fun with the kids.
All profits from EPCOT II would go to fund the Trump Library, which is being planned for a wing at Mar-a-Lago. Any funds left over would be used to buy food for Muslim Land. What a great vacation? It’s only 47 miles from Jerusalem to Gaza. You could spend your days exploring all three lands at EPCOT II, and your evenings luxuriating on the beaches of the Gaza Strip. Could Disney World-Middle East be far away? To make that happen, however, Disney will have to walk back its commitment to oppose the DeSantis “Don’t Say Gay” agenda.
I recently got into a spirited discussion with a conservative friend of mine about whether Elon Musk was a Nazi or not. This was on the heels of Musk’s very controversial hand gestures at Trump’s inauguration. Readers can go on YouTube and decide for themselves as to whether Musk’s gestures constituted a Nazi salute, were Nazi-adjacent, or were nothing at all. Maybe it is in the eye of the beholder. My friend pointed out that people like me are quick to play the Nazi card. For the record, Naziism is characterized by authoritarianism, anti-Semitism, and extreme nationalism. He claimed, citing right-wing sources, that Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and Kamala Harris had made similar gestures, but these claims have been discredited when their gestures were put into context. He said that there was no way that Musk was a Nazi. I agree with that, but my point was that you have to put his gestures in context because his gestures were not just random, one-offs by a Republican supporter. Context matters.
The most recent original sin of the Republican Party goes back to Charlottesville where Trump claimed that there were good people on both sides even though one side was wearing swastikas. Marchers displayed signs saying “Jews Will Not Replace Us,” “Blood and Soil,” and “The South Will Rise Again.” He refused to condemn the protestors. The Republican Party can trace its embrace of fascism, anti-semitism, and racism back to the 1930’s when the slogan of the party was “America First,” and its leading proponent was aviator Charles Lindbergh. Later, Ronald Reagan coined the phrase “Let’s Make America Great Again,” which multiple scholars, journalists, and commentators have called racist, regarding it as dog-whistle politics and coded language.
More recently, the news is replete with Republicans and Trump cozying up to would-be Nazis and white nationalists. The number one read in this genre is Russ Bellant’s “Old Nazis, the New Right and the Republican Party.” It discusses domestic fascist networks and their effect on U.S. Cold War politics. In a separate paper, Peter McLaren, Professor Emeritus from UCLA, states it very clearly. “…whether or not Trump is a true fascist, or he just borrowed some motifs and ideas from fascist leaders that he admires is not as urgent an issue as the fact that he has, without question, politically mobilized fascists and emboldened neo-Nazis, white nationalists, internet trolls, Groypers, neo-confederates, bikers for Trump, armed militias and sovereign citizens.”
A Texas GOP executive committee rejected in 2023 a proposed ban on associating with Nazi sympathizers and Holocaust deniers. Governor and presidential candidate Ron DeSantis has had numerous embarrassing stories come out about keeping company with Nazi sympathizers. According to The Washington Post, nearly half of Trump voters believe that overt appreciation of Hitler is acceptable. They go on to say that GOP rhetoric is similar to that of American Nazis from the 1970’s. NBC News reported that at the most recent CPAC meeting, Nazis mingled openly, spreading antisemitic conspiracy theories and finding allies.
Nick Fuentes is a far-right political pundit, activist and podcaster, who promotes white supremacist, misogynistic, and antisemitic views. He has promoted antisemitic conspiracy theories against Jews, called for a “holy war,” and denied the Holocaust. In November, 2022, Fuentes and Kanye West had a private dinner with Donald Trump. The New York Times described it as “what might be the most discomforting moment in U.S. history in half-century or more.” Tucker Carlson may have reached a disturbingly new low when he hosted a two-hour podcast with Darryl Cooper, a Nazi apologist. Among his many false claims, he claimed that Churchill, not Hitler, started the Second World War, and that the Holocaust was essentially an accident.
In 2024, Trump told Republican donors that President Biden was running a “Gestapo administration,” which was another example of Trump employing the language of Nazi Germany. Previously, Trump had called political opponents “vermin” and said migrants were “poisoning the blood of our country,” rhetoric that echoed Adolf Hitler’s statements during his rule of Germany. In his defense, Trump said, “I know nothing about Hitler.” Right-wingers have tried to downplay and sane wash Trump’s Hitler talk by offering myriad excuses and outright lies to explain Trump’s reported desire to have generals as loyal as Hitlers.
So, was Elon Musk giving us not one but two Nazi salutes? Maybe they were just unfortunate and awkward gestures in the moment as he was feeling the thrill of victory and the love of the crowd. Maybe he was just trolling the rest of us. Given the distant and recent history of the Republican Party, the burden of proof should be on them to explain how Musk’s gestures were not Nazi salutes, and not on the rest of us to prove that they were.
By signing this executive order, I, Donald Trump, decree that I am the smartest, richest, most compassionate, best golfer, and best looking man throughout the land.
I also decree that, from this day forward, the scarecrow will have a PhD degree from MIT like my uncle to prove that he thinks deep thoughts; the Tin Man will receive one of my Trump commemorative watches in the shape of a heart; and the Cowardly Lion will receive a Presidential Medal of Freedom like Rush Limbaugh.
I order that the sky remains blue, the grass remains green, especially on my golf courses, and that the earth is flat. I have repealed the laws of gravity and thermodynamics as examples of over regulation.
I order that the national colors of the United States be changed to blood red and blood orange. I have appointed a commission headed by Melania to design a new, American flag with the “Make America Great Again” slogan festooned across it. There will be stars recognizing only the states that voted for me, and red and orange stripes representing however many original colonies there were, except for the ones that didn’t vote for me.
I declare that global warming is a hoax perpetrated by the media, pointy-headed academics from Harvard, Democrats, globalists, and the Jews. All thermometers must be recalibrated by the end of 2025 to show that the earth is not getting warmer. All robins arriving early will be rounded up by the migration service, and sent back to where they came from.
All students entering schools must exchange their cell phones for guns. We will have them in all sorts of fun sizes and colors. Any student accidentally shooting another student will get detention. Any student purposely shooting a teacher mentioning alternative lifestyles will get an A.
I decree that women will no longer have a place in our public life. They must be fired if working, discharged if serving, or arrested if voting. They will not be allowed to own property. In fact, they will be property. They will be issued drivers licenses for the sole purpose of driving children to soccer practice. Sexual assault and domestic abuse will no longer be considered crimes. Want an abortion? Fuhgeddaboudit. Happy Mother’s Day.
By executive action, I decree that January 6th will no longer be considered The Epiphany. Gaspar, Melchior and Balthasar will be expunged from all Christmas celebrations. January 6th will now be celebrated as the day that I rose from the dead thanks to our fellow patriots and hostages. On my website, you will be able to purchase special, commemorative items made from gold, frankincense and myrrh.
I declare that the state of California is a royal pain in the ass. They didn’t vote for me, and they are asking for a federal handout to repair the wreckage from the wildfires. If they had vacuumed the forest as I said, this never would have happened. I am going to work out the greatest deal of all time. Denmark gets California, and I get Greenland.
By executive order, I officially give up. I am going to let the states do everything so I can play even more golf than I was going to. If states have natural disasters, they can just ask other states for help. States will have the right to impose tariffs on each other. Each state will have a standing army. Texas will have to defend itself if Mexico decides it wants it back. Red states will have to support themselves without handouts from the federal government or blue states.
I hereby authorize the General Services Administration to erect statues by the Reflection Pool of some of my heroes like Hannibal Lechter, Roy Cohn, and Al Capone. I will also direct the GSA to erect a statue of me that will be bigger than the statue of Abraham Lincoln.
Just for fun, illegals from Colombia will be returned to Venezuela. Venezuelans will be sent to Panama, and so on. Maybe I will deport residents of Martha’s Vineyard to Nantucket, and residents of Nantucket to Martha’s Vineyard.
It didn’t take Trump very long to say that he was just kidding about a lot of the campaign promises he made. He is not going to deport millions of undocumented workers. It turns out that it is logistically impossible and possible illegal so he is going to focus on criminals. He is going to kick Tik Tok down the road for 90 days while he “studies” the issue. Tik Tok may get into a collision with tariffs, which have also been kicked down the road until February because it turns out that tariffs are inflationary. He is not sure how he is actually going to bring food and gas prices down, or reduce the level of inflation and unemployment. His solution to solving the California wildfires was to withdraw from the Paris Climate Accord while repeating his childish mantra, “Drill, Baby, Drill.” At least he made good on one promise by pardoning 1,500, convicted J6’ers. That is something Trump voters can be proud of. They will also be bursting with patriotic pride when he sells Ukraine down the river to the Communists because there is nothing Trump won’t sell to make a buck. Ironically, he has accused Democrats of being Communists, and wanting a classless society. However, what can be more classless that selling commemorative meme cryptocurrency tokens at your own inauguration?
I could go on, but I find it to be soul sapping. Nobel Prize winner for Economics, Paul Krugman, recently retired from the New York Times editorial board. He left a vacuum, which I am going to try and fill in a nerdy discussion about Elon Musk and DOGE. DOGE stands for something, but not much. Musk and Trump have promised to reduce the size of the Federal government, and reduce the size of the federal budget by $2T. But, the numbers don’t add up. Apparently, Vivek Ramaswamy figured that out, and headed for the hills of Ohio. Here are the facts and the numbers.
The easy fixes have already been made. The big bucks go to national defense, social insurance, and debt service. The federal payroll has already shrunk dramatically in relation to the scale of government. Creating better procedures for federal contracting and eliminating no- show employees is always a good thing, but the real upside is very limited. Greater efficiency alone would make only a small difference. Federal spending is $7T while revenues are at $5T, thanks in part to the Trump tax cuts for the rich and famous, which will most likely be extended or made permanent. Total compensation for federal employees is only $250B, and most of that is at the departments of defense, veterans affairs and homeland security. These departments are virtually off limits. Federal employment has been flat for decades. On the other hand, tax “cheats” cost the government $500B per year, but Elon wants to cut the IRS. Substantial deficit reduction requires the unpopular steps of cutting back government benefits and services and increasing taxes.
Elon and other right wing ideologues complain that federal employees need to come to the office five days a week. However, only 10% of federal employees are fully remote, which is less than the private sector. The idea that the federal workforce is working from home is false. The issue is not rampant inefficiency and a bloated bureaucracy. Rather, it is a lack of investment in the building blocks of effective governance: people, processes and policies. We have long underinvested in our government. We have twice as many workers over sixty as under 30. Younger people have less interest in working in government. We need to invest in these people, not vilify them. Expecting more from government is reasonable and essential, but cutting funding from already strained systems only deepens frustrations. Nominating department heads with no experience and only a political agenda will not solve real issues.
At the end of the day, DOGE is just political grandstanding and theater. No one really wants to get their hands dirty, or make the hard decisions. Like many of his other promises, Trump will kick this one down the road. At the rate he is going, his agenda is going to look like the Los Angeles freeway at rush hour.
When I was 11 or 12 years old, I was always looking for something to do during the summer. I was too young to work, and too old to have baby sitters. Caddying was still a few years away. Unlike many of our neighbors, my parents did not have a summer place on Cape Cod or Lake Sunapee where killing time took care of itself. I played baseball every day, but the Little League season only lasted fifteen games, and was over in June. I typically left the house after breakfast, and made sure I was home for supper. We devised a lot of ways to waste time in those days. We were free range kids. We would explore the woods, play indoor baseball with dice and baseball cards, read Superman and Batman comic books endlessly along with Mad Magazine. However, if I wasn’t home by 6:00PM, I would miss dinner, which never happened.
My mother had an old set of Louise Suggs Specials made by MacGregor. I had no idea who Louise Suggs was, or that she was one of the greatest female golfers of all time. In case you are interested, Louise Suggs, after a successful amateur career, turned professional in 1948, and went on to win 58 professional tournaments, including 11 majors. The set consisted of a two wood and a four wood made out of real wood and screws (thus hitting the ball on the screws), odd-numbered irons, and a putter. The wooden club heads were secured to the shaft with nylon string, which was always unraveling. Repairing the loose string became another great use for electrical tape, which was the duct tape of its day. The primary use for electrical tape in those days was for wrapping old, beat up baseballs that were literally coming apart at the seams. Golf gloves were unheard of. The clubs had never been regripped. No one had golf shoes. A baseball cap did double duty as a golf hat. Whole tees were a precious commodity. No one ever left behind a whole tee on a municipal golf course. Being able to play with a new golf ball was years away. Eventually, we we would take a dip in the pond fronting the 18th hole, wade around in the disgusting mud, and come out with dozens of water-logged golf balls. My friend, Jackie, had a similar set so we decided we needed to go golfing.
The only municipal golf course within walking distance was Mt. Hood, which was about a mile away. The private club, Bellevue, was within a good driver and a wedge from where we lived, but we were not members. We put the bags on our shoulders, cut through the parking lot of the Incarnation Church, and snuck onto the second tee. The cost of a junior membership in those days was $25 per year. Andy Brickley of the Boston Bruins grew up about five minutes from me. I remember him discussing with the Bruins head coach on one of his golf shows how he would do the exact same thing.
Mount Hood is an 18 hole golf course located in Melrose, Massachusetts. It was built in the 1930s on donated land as part of President Franklin D. Roosevelt‘s Works Progress Administration. It is a golf course that would make the famous Ponkapoag aka “Ponky” in Canton, MA look like Augusta National. The tee boxes were made of horse hair mats. There was no irrigation so balls went forever. In summer, mosquitos were like locusts. Goats would have a hard time navigating the hilly terrain. On a clear day, you could see Boston.
The head pro was Roland “Rollie” Hancock. To us, he was just a nice, old man running a tired pro shop at a beat up golf course. His personal story, however, represents everything that is cruel about golf. Roland Hancock, age 21, would have won the 1928 US Open championship at Olympia Fields outside of Chicago by two strokes had he parred the final two holes. But he double-bogeyed the 17th hole, and bogeyed the 18th to miss the playoff by one shot. Bobby Jones went on to win the playoff. We all know who Bobby Jones is. Rollie Hancock went on to live a quiet life in obscurity. “If only” are words that haunt every golfer at some level, but this had to be the epitome.
Jackie and I had a wonderful time for our first ever round of golf. It was sheer joy just swinging, and walking, and laughing. He shot about 140, and I probably beat him by at least 20 strokes, but the scores really did not matter. It was pitch black by the time we were done. As we headed home, I noticed that there were no cars left in the parking lot except for one with its lights on and the motor running. The car looked familiar. It was my father. In our excitement to go golfing for the first time, we forgot to tell anyone where we were going, and when we would be back. Houston, we have a problem. I got the “get in the car and don’t say a thing” speech. I knew what was coming when we got home.
My father was a psychiatric social worker. He had worked in a variety of tough places including Bridgewater State Prison. He didn’t believe in corporal punishment. All he had to do was threaten to get the belt, and that was enough to get my attention. With three sons, he was threatening a lot. The only time he ever hit me was years earlier when I made a game of touching the backs of cars as they passed us in the street in front of our house. He had warned me. However, I made the fatal mistake of doing it one day in front my grandfather. Papa, for whom I am named, said to my father, “You did good.” I never did it again.
The second time and last time I got hit was when we got home from my first round of golf. He yelled and wailed at me on the porch while I played defense as best I could. I tried to play rope-a-dope before Muhammad Ali made it a thing. I guess he was mad that no one knew where we were. Go figure. I took it like a man. A lesser person would have forsaken golf forever. I went back to the course the very next day, after announcing where I was going, and I have been playing golf ever since. And I still come back sometimes after dark.
Some of the reasons claimed in opposition to these projects may include: harm to locally-owned businesses; loss of residential property values; environmental pollution; light and noise pollution; visual blight; strain on local resources and schools; loss of small town feel; disproportionate benefit to non-locals; increased traffic; increased crime and so on.
The most famous NIMBY in the world may be the current President-elect, Donald Trump. Trump has railed against windmills (wind turbines), saying they kill birds. Fact check: “Trump’s weird obsession with wind turbines is not rooted in reality or Bird Law.” He has vowed to halt all U.S. wind projects. He wants to “drill, baby, drill” as he promotes petroleum-based products over reusable energy like wind. However, it probably wouldn’t surprise anyone that he has a financial interest in killing wind energy where it suits him, making him a classic NIMBY. Trump got embroiled in a controversy involving his Scottish golf course and a major, North Sea wind power project, which erected eleven wind turbines in view of his golf course. Trump argued that the wind turbines would spoil the view from the golf course. Judges ruled against Trump, and ordered Trump International Golf Club Scotland Ltd. to pay the legal bills incurred, which he has refused to do.
Trump and I had one thing in common, golf, and now we have two. We are both NIMBY’s. I live in East Longmeadow, not to far from where developers, who are not from here, have proposed to demolish the vacated, 440,000 sq. ft., Package Machinery plant at 330 Chestnut St. across from American Saw, and replace it with a 560,000 sq. ft. warehouse and shipping facility, designed to accommodate 100 semi-tractor trailers at a time. Residents of abutting and/or impacted properties, mostly led by residents from The Fields at Chestnut, which is where I live, and their attorney made their case to the East Longmeadow Planning Commission. The Fields at Chestnut is an active, adult community for people fifty-five years of age and older. They cited the negative impact on property values, and the commensurate reduction in property taxes. It was estimated that, after all was said and done, the Town would actually lose tax revenue. The increased truck traffic would aggravate air pollution, and harm anyone, especially seniors, with respiratory issues. The Town of East Longmeadow has a history of terrible accidents involving trucks in this corridor so the adding of an enormous number of tractor trailers to this already crowded area could be very dangerous. Roland Bolduc, a multi-time Grand National Champion of the Super Bowl of Safety for sleeper-berth long haul truck drivers md a local resident, explained in great detail the problem with the street design in East Longmeadow. The design does not provide sufficient space necessary for safe turns to be made by these larger trucks. In addition, the trucks would be entering and exiting adjacent to the very busy Redstone Bike-Rail Trail. Former Mayor and Fields resident, Mary Hurley, called it “absolutely catastrophic.”
The plan was rejected by the Planning Commission for the second time on February 20, 2024. There are still legal issues pending, and the developers are suing the Town of East Longmeadow. The project appears to be losing steam, but it is not dead yet. Hopefully, the developers will find a more suitable location, and move on. In the meantime, I remain a proud NIMBY.
As I sit here in the depths of a New England winter, dreaming about the upcoming golf season, and watching the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am on television, I am inspired to put into writing a story I have told a thousand times before. This is the remarkable story of how I got to play Cypress Point.
In the year 2000, for my fiftieth birthday, I decided to treat myself, my wife, and daughter to a bucket list trip to Pebble Beach. Pebble Beach is a perennial Golf Digest top ten golf course. In the spirit of full disclosure, I am currently a Golf Digest panelist. Pebble Beach is the Holy Grail for almost every serious golfer because it a great golf course and open to the public…for a price. The big decision when planning a trip is always which other courses will you play while you are visiting the Holy Land. I had decided to play Poppy Hills, Spyglass, and the Links at Spanish Bay, which is not a bad rotation. Spyglass is onGolf Digest’s Top 100 list.
Before departing, I did what every self-respecting golfer does. I tried to exert what little influence I had to see if I could get us on Cypress Point, which is number 3 on the list. I contacted colleagues on the west coast. I brow beat my club professional, but to no avail. As I suspected, nobody gets on Cypress Point, no way, no how. There are very few Cypress Point members scattered all over the country, and they like it like that. Who could blame them? Cypress Point would have to wait another day.
We checked into the The Inn at Spanish Bay. Our room overlooked the ocean and the evening bagpiper. Our first round was scheduled the next day for Poppy Hills. I honestly can’t remember too much about the course other than it was not hateful.
Next up on the rota was Pebble Beach. I was really nervous that the course would not meet my expectations. The last time I had that feeling was my visit to the Grand Canyon. I was blown away by the Grand Canyon, and I was blown away by Pebble Beach. It is hard to describe the beauty of the golf course juxtaposed to the Pacific Ocean. It is one of the few times you would not be upset to take six hours to play a round of golf, and pay an obscene amount of money for the privilege.
The three of us were paired with the Travel Editor from Senior Golf magazine. Who knew there was such a thing! We had a delightful round until it came time to play our third shots into the iconic, par 5, 18th hole. As we were preparing to hit, a very large group of Japanese tourists decided to walk from the lodge to beach by way of the 18th green. Three of them actually stopped on the green. Two of them reclined and posed on the green while the third took photos. You can’t make this stuff up. Visitors were howling with laughter from the porch of the Pebble Beach Lodge. We made a group decision, and hit our approach shots anyway. In my case, the odds of hitting the green were slim to none anyway. No one got hurt, and we all had a good story to tell. As an aside, several months later, I spotted a copy of Senior Golf magazine at a newsstand, and, sure enough, our experience was immortalized.
On day three, we were scheduled to play Spyglass. Despite the overcast skies and threatening rain, we got to the range early to warm up. I was striping the ball pretty good for me, but my daughter was killing it. She had qualified for the 1999 US Girls Junior. She was on a state championship team in Florida, and would go on to Captain the Harvard Women’s golf team, win numerous club championships, and qualify for five US Women’s Mid-Am Championships. The reason I point this out, in addition to being a proud parent, is that I was well aware this was not about me.
Anyway, as I was grinding away, two elderly gentlemen came along, and one started hitting balls next to me. The one not hitting started asking me questions. “Who holds the PGA Tour 72 hole scoring record,” he asked. I thought about it, but I really did not have a good guess. “Well,” he said, “it’s Mike Souchak, and that is him hitting balls next to you.” For the record, in his first win at the 1955 Texas Open, Mike Souchak shot a 257, a record that stood until 2001. I was certainly old enough to know who Mike Souchak was, probably having seen him on Shell’s Wonderful World of Golf. My wife and daughter had no idea who he was. After the introductions and my effusiveness, the first gentleman asked me where we were playing the next day, and I said the Links at Spanish Bay. He responded with “Why?” He and Mike agreed they did not like the course. Then he asked, and I kid you not, “Have you ever heard of Cypress Point?” Thinking quickly, I stammered “Yes.” “How would you like to be my guests at Cypress Point tomorrow,” he responded. “I will leave a message at your hotel room regarding the details.” We played our round at Spyglass, a magnificent golf course, with visions of sugar plums dancing in our heads. What just happened? Did it happen? We got back to our room at Spanish Bay, and, sure enough, there was a message regarding starting time, caddies, dress code, etc. Wow!
We got to Cypress Point nice and early, but he was already there, practicing his putting with two caddies milling around. As it turned out, both caddies were accomplished amateur golfers, maybe not on the order of Ken Venturi and Harvey Ward, but plenty good enough for us. All of a sudden, we were on the first hole getting ready to tee off. The morning fog had not quite burned off so the effect was stunning. There is a small hedge just off the first tee that looks like the Green Monster in Fenway Park as you get ready for your first swing of the day.
Our host was a gentleman by the name of Gary Laughlin. He came from the Texas oil-drilling business. He was a former Navy pilot. Because there were so few members in the local area to play with, he was happy to have us as our guests. David Feherty described him as “a gnarly Hogan crony and longtime Cypress member.”
After a few shots, the caddies had our games sized up pretty well, and realized that there was one player in the group. As a result, I never saw my caddie again as the two caddies and my daughter would triangulate over every shot. The only help I got from my caddie was “hit this.” As we moved along, the anticipation was building the closer we got to sixteen, the famous par three over the Pacific. What nobody told me, and I should have known, was how beautiful the par three, fifteenth was. Regardless, I washed my ball in the Pacific on sixteen. “Is anyone here a marine biologist?
We finished, and it was time to go, or so I thought. “Why don’t you come to my house for lunch,” Gary asked. “Follow me.” So we followed him around 17 Mile Drive until a set of wrought iron gates opened magically to our left. We went in, and were immediately greeted by his housekeeper, who brought us out a wonderful plate of good food to eat. In the mean time, I was looking at some of the framed letters he had on the wall addressed to his wife, Sandy. One said something like “Congratulations on winning the Club Championship again, Jack.” Another letter with a similar message was signed “George.” That was Jack Nicklaus and George Bush respectively. Eventually, his wife joined us. She was former tennis player from Rollins College in Winter Park, FL where we were coincidentally living at the time. It was all just too perfect. When we got home, as a thank you, we sent them a framed picture of the Rollins College chapel.
So now you have read my Cypress Point story. It is no longer on my bucket list, having been replaced by Pine Valley. My daughter had an opportunity to revisit the course with her college golf team, and Gary came out to watch. I still have his e-mail address, and occasionally send him a brief message. I believe he is about 94 years of age, almost the exact same age as my mother, who recently passed away. My latest message to him has not received a reply.
And happy birthday to my wife, who buried her tee shot into the hedge on the first hole, but never complained as usual.
Addendum: While watching a broadcast of the AT&T Pro-Am on CBS many years later, we heard of Gary’s passing from Jim Nantz in one of those moments when they cut to a picture of the heavens. This writing was posted to the Golf Digest online website. Soon thereafter, I heard from Gary’s daughter, who was thankful for the kind words and memories about her father.
The Spin Doctor 