June 9, 2025
Everyone, whoever they are, say that this President is purely transactional. It’s probably the same people that Trump evokes every time he uses the word “everyone,” which always means he is exaggerating, per The Washington Post. Anyway, everyone knows Trump has no moral compass or scruples. He has no ethics. He just wants to know what is in it for him politically or financially or both. He is always ready to do a deal as long as he gets his beak wet. The Trump family has been reported to have multiple projects underway in the Middle East, including a possible Trump golf resort in Qatar. And Trump gets a $400,000,000 jet from Qatar. Trump is hawking personal access just as he hawked Trump Steaks, Trump University, Trump Bibles, Trump sneakers, Trump watches, Trump cards, and Trump bitcoins. He sells pardons to anyone for the right price. Marriage is not a commitment. It’s a transaction.
Thus, it’s worth taking a look at what psychotherapists call Transactional Analysis, TA for short. TA is a form of psychotherapy developed by Eric Berne that focuses on understanding personality and social interactions. TA suggests that we have three ego states: Parent (reflecting external authority figures), Adult (rational and objective), and Child (representing childhood thoughts and feelings). TA identifies repetitive social patterns (games) that can lead to negative outcomes.
To put it simply, we need to ask if Trump is operating as a Parent, Adult, or Child, and what games is he playing, either consciously or subconsciously. A perfect and current example is Trump’s response to the civil unrest in Los Angeles. A “rational and objective” Adult would analyze the situation, discuss various reasonable responses, and develop a plan of action that would not escalate the situation, which is what Governor Gavin Newsom has tried to do. Newsom is focused on dealing with the protestors as fellow Adults, who are trying to express a point of view. On the other hand, you have the President of the United States, who is not focused on solving the problem. He is approaching the situation as a Parent would with an unruly child. The goal is not to solve the problem, but rather to exert control of the Child. In the words of The Atlantic, “Under Donald Trump, the federal government is like a bad parent: never there when you need him but eager to stick his nose in your business when you don’t want him to.”
On the other hand, when it comes Trump’s dealings with world leaders, especially the authoritarian ones like Putin, Orban, Xi, and the Arab sheiks, Trump is all too happy to play the role of a Child, which models his interactions with his own, domineering father. Rather than oppose the Adults, Trump reverts to being the obedient Child. Helsinki is the perfect example. When it came time for Trump to choose between Putin (Parent) and his own intelligence agencies (Adults), Trump did not have the courage to stand up to the Parent, and question his authority. The Child-Parent dynamic explains why Trump fawns over Putin and other autocrats, which he calls strongmen. Going up against them would be the same as going up against his own Parent. Trump is never happier when world leaders, especially from the Middle East, are fawning all over him like a Child. He enjoys making his Parents happy. Unfortunately, the world has figured out that it only takes a little Child psychology to get what you want from Trump.
One of the TA “games” that Trump is expert in is a game called “kick me.” In his first administration, Trump was bedeviled by the Adults in the room, who told him he couldn’t do certain things. He was told by the Secretary of Defense that he could not use the U.S. military against his own citizens. He eventually got rid of all of the Adults because they opposed his game of “kick me.” In his second term, he has staffed the entire government with Children aka loyalists, who are wearing signs that say “Please Don’t Kick Me,” and are surprised when they keep getting kicked. Trumps loves to kick these people when they get out of line. Similarly, when Columbia University acted like a Child in settling with Trump, and asked Trump to please stop kicking them, Trump took the opportunity to keep on kicking. He has no respect for any individuals or institutions that act like Children because he enjoys kicking them.
The media keeps reporting on Trump’s activities as if he were an Adult. In order for them to truly grasp what is going on, they need to think about Trump as the angry Parent, or Trump as the compliant Child. Pretending that he is an Adult is just setting themselves up for a game of “kick me.”