Celebrity Christmas Birthdays

December 25, 2020

1. My father never worked in a coal mine, but he did in the movies.

2. “Here’s looking at you, kid.”

3. She asked “Why” am I “Walking on Broken Glass.”

4. “You are not welcome in my country. Merci beaucoup.”

5. I’m living “La Vida Loca”

6. I am the Hi-De-Ho man.

7. No countdown for me this year.

8. Frank Sinatra, Artie Shaw and Mickey Rooney thought I was Killer.

9. I have entered the Twilight Zone.

10. I am the greatest thief in the history of Major League Baseball.

11. I was a Raider and a Snake.

12. I was zonking before Gronk was Gronking. I was the full back on the last team to go undefeated in the National Football League.

Answers on Saturday

Race vs. Class

December 23, 2020

One of the hot political and social topics on campus in the 60’s was whether, as a society, we have a racial problem or a class problem. Were blacks discriminated against because of their color or because of their financial position in the lower class? In addressing racism, were policy makers ignoring the plights of poor whites?

Two forces collided over the last four years, which gave us some insight. Black Lives Matter and systemic racism met head on with aggrieved, non-educated whites. Biden clearly gained the majority of black voter support, and Trump garnered more support from white voters. However, Democrats overestimated the support they were going to get from blacks, especially men, and Latinos. Why?

For many of these voters, class trumped skin color. Despite being part of a minority, many of these voters were concerned just like whites about being left behind by Democratic elites on the socio-economic ladder. Trump promised to be their advocate for social mobility.

Trump had a point, but, sadly, was just a grifter looking to take advantage of the people, who believed in him and needed him the most. He fomented racial division on the one hand while giving tax breaks to the wealthy and threatening to eliminate health care for millions on the other. Republicans like Paul Ryan want to cut the social safety net, and Trump’s populist appeal was how they were going to do get it done.

Democratic leaders need to look beyond race, and come up with an agenda that addresses systemic class disparities and income inequality, which cut across racial lines. The pandemic has made clear that, while blacks have been disproportionately affected negatively, it has impacted low income workers of all colors. Hopefully, Republicans won’t dismiss these efforts as class warfare.

Simulation Stimulation

December 22, 2020

My golf club recently installed a TrackMan Simulator to keep us occupied over the off season. It’s actually a lot of fun. You can play dozens of golf courses from around the world. You can shoot a score, and play against others. It’s almost like real golf, but it’s not. It’s almost like Donald Trump. He is almost like a real President, but he’s not.

From the very beginning, Trump was only interested in playing a President on TV. He idolized Jeb Bartlet more than George Washington. To him, being President was all about what was seen on television and written on Twitter. He wasn’t interested in getting into the nitty gritty of legislation, or delving into the details of his security briefings. He preferred chopper talk over getting people together to make a deal. He appointed people based on how they looked on TV, preferably how they looked on Fox. Experience and ability were not requirements. He raised “executive time” to a fine art.

He has golfed more than Tiger Woods. Clearly, he needs his own golf simulator because then he can pretend to play golf just as he pretends to play at being President. As with golf, he will eventually have will eventually have to figure out how to get out of his bunker. If he sets his simulator up correctly, he can even cheat himself.

Hack Attack

December 19, 2020

Under Donald Trump’s watch, millions of Americans are hacking their way through the holidays while over 300,000 have hacked their way to an early grave. While he is busy ignoring this crisis, he is busy ignoring the Russian hack of much of our computer infrastructure. He says China did it. He is actually more focused on the hack of Dominion voting machines by Venezuelans.

Rather than attack the hackers, he attacked his own Secretary of State, who had the audacity to say what everyone else already knew, that Russia was the source of the hack. Donald Trump is playing Russian Roulette with a gun aimed at America’s head. What does Putin have on this guy?

Dozens of contacts between the Trump campaign and the Russians. Obstructions of justice of the Mueller investigation. Meetings with Russian operatives. Back door channels. Multiple people lying about meetings with Russians including the National Security Advisor and the Attorney General. Firing Comey and then bragging about it to the Russian Ambassador. Sharing confidential information with the Russians. Covering up Trump Tower Moscow. Siding with Putin in Helsinki over his own intelligence agencies. Trying to blame Ukraine for Russia’s hacking, and then extorting them. Doing nothing about Russia putting bounties on U.S. troops in Afghanistan. And now, hackgate.

This President has demonstrated once again he can’t hack the job.

The Popular Vote

December 17, 2020

The Electoral College has certified that Joe Biden is the President-elect, yet there are still Republicans bent on overturning the election. This is only possible because we have something called an electoral college. The electoral college is leading to the destruction of the Republican Party. The winner take all system with the focus on swing states has made it necessary for Republicans to gerrymander, suppress the vote, and make false claims about voter fraud. Rather than trying to expand its base, the Republican Party is trying to restrict the vote. It is not a party of issues. It is a party of subtraction. It is a zombie party.

Republicans fear the popular vote, which they didn’t win once again, getting beat by over seven million votes. The best thing that the Republican Party could do, which would most likely hurt them in the short term, is advocate for a change to the popular vote for Presidential elections. This would force them to reexamine their platform and tactics. They would have to reach out to all of the groups they have alienated. They could become a true counterweight to Democrats rather than the party real Republicans can’t abandon fast enough.

Movies for 2020

December 16, 2020

Every publication is replete with lists of best movies this time of year. Here is my list of great movies to get you through and help you understand this inaugural season. Enjoy!

1. The Grifters (1991): The story of a man, who, along with his family members, is a high-stakes grifter with his own angles to play.

2. The Godfather (1972): The story of a man, who struggles to protect his organized crime empire from rivals as he tries to pass his empire on to his son.

3. Moby Dick (1956): . The story of a man, who has an obsessive quest for revenge against anyone who has injured him.

4. Gaslight (1944): The story of a man, who is trying to make his bride insane as part of his plot to murder her.

5. A Few Good Men (1992): The story of a man, who tries to bully his way through life, but is ultimately brought down by the truth.

6. Citizen Kane (1941): The story of man, severely damaged emotionally as a child, who spends the rest of his life accumulating power, squandering his wealth, abusing his position, and searching for meaning.

7. Wizard of Oz (1939): The story of a man, who has a civilization of little people under his control until a girl pulls back his curtain and exposes his lies.

Vaccine for Stupidity

December 15, 2020

We are all excited about the rollout for the coronavirus vaccine that started yesterday. It may take several months for many of us to actually get it, but hope is on the way as long as we continue to wear masks and socially distance. Next, I am looking forward to a vaccine for stupidity.

I am totally okay if Donald Trump jumps the line and gets the first dose. Following Trump, his family, Giuliani, and everyone else in the White House, the 126 Republicans, who signed on to the Texas Supreme Court challenge, should be next in line for the vaccine for their criminal level of abject stupidity. Bill Barr needs to get vaccinated before he leaves after being pushed out. Hopefully, there will be enough doses to go around for the right wing media starting with Fox, Newsmax, and QAnon for spreading the stupidity like a virus.

After that, we need to vaccinate non-essential workers like all of the Senators and Representatives, who have failed to recognize Joe Biden as the President-elect. And lastly, we need to inoculate the 70% of Republicans, who believe that the election was rigged and stolen. After that, the rest of us can feel safe. Alas, there is no cure for stupid.

Dr. Biden

December 14, 2020

The Wall Street Journal just earned a Ph. D. in idiocy. For some inexplicable reason, it condoned an op-ed attacking Jill Biden for using the title, “Dr.,” since she earned an Ed.D. in educational leadership from the University of Delaware in 2007. I am at a loss to understand why it felt this was such an important topic to cover while 300,000 people have died of COVID and the President of the United States is trying to overturn a legitimate election. Is it trying to be “fair and balanced?” Rather than apologizing, Editor Paul Gigot doubled down, and criticized those who dared to criticize the opinion writer. If we can call football coaches, who only teach X’s and O’s, “Coach” as an honorific, we can certainly call doctors of education, who teach all 26 letters, “Doctor” if they have earned it. I think this is one more not so subtle attempt to demean teachers and the work they do.

As a financial practitioner, I felt obliged to subscribe to the Wall St. Journal even though I found that I could find almost anything it reported on from other sources. Regardless, I always skipped the opinion section, which I always thought was to the right of Attila the Hun. Now, in addition to being strictly conservative, it is petty and dumb. At least I don’t have wait for my subscription to run out. I canceled the Wall Street Journal a long time ago.

Exercise and Calories

December 12, 2020

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it is not someone trying to inject a UV light into our veins. Soon, we will be able to move on from counting down the days Donald Trump has left in office, and counting up the deaths due to the coronavirus. Then, we will be able to go back to counting calories. If the pandemic has highlighted anything about modern life, rampant obesity and diabetes is killing us.

Just in time, the WHO has issued guidelines for activity. It depends on age and conditioning, but the general guidelines are that the average adult should try to get in a minimum of 75-150 minutes of vigorous exercise per week. 150-300 is ideal. 300 minutes obviously translates into five hours of solid work per week. The WHO’s recommendations are based on good health, and should not be taken as a weight loss regimen. However there is good news on that front.

As a spin instructor, I was always reminding the riders that exercise doesn’t necessarily lead to weight loss because research had shown that people who exercise often compensate by eating more and moving less. This has now been confirmed by a recent study. Researchers found that people who worked out for three hours per week and burned an additional 500 calories per hour invariably consumed a 1000 more calories leading to a net loss of only 500 calories. There are 3500 calories in a pound. However, they found that people who burned 3,000 calories also consumed the same 1,000 calories, leading to a net loss of 2,000 calories.

So, my conclusion is that five to six hours per week of exercise, or one per day for six days, is the sweet spot for health and diet. You will be healthier, and slimmer. Exercise and weight loss has many additional benefits like enhancing brain function and cognition, reducing stress, and slowing of the aging process. Don’t make a New Year’s resolution or say I will get started when the pandemic is over. Just do it.

The DT’s

December 10, 2020

The delirium tremens, otherwise known as the DT’s, are a violent delirium with tremors that is induced by excessive and prolonged use of alcoholic liquors. We are all suffering from a particularly lethal version of the DT’s known as the Donald Trump’s. We have been on a four year binge of an intoxication of idiocy, and now we have to figure out how to stop the addiction. We need a process, but most of us don’t have the time to go through the twelve steps of AA to recover. Maybe I can condense it.

1. Admit that you are not the problem. Donald Trump is.

2. Make a list of all the people you know who voted for Trump, and avoid them at all costs.

3. Ask for help from a higher authority. Maybe the New York Times, or the Washington Post.

4. Continue to take personal inventory, and, if you are wrong, which you are not, promptly admit it.

5. Ask God to have mercy on his soul because he is going to need it.

Now don’t you feel better.