December 10, 2020
The delirium tremens, otherwise known as the DT’s, are a violent delirium with tremors that is induced by excessive and prolonged use of alcoholic liquors. We are all suffering from a particularly lethal version of the DT’s known as the Donald Trump’s. We have been on a four year binge of an intoxication of idiocy, and now we have to figure out how to stop the addiction. We need a process, but most of us don’t have the time to go through the twelve steps of AA to recover. Maybe I can condense it.
1. Admit that you are not the problem. Donald Trump is.
2. Make a list of all the people you know who voted for Trump, and avoid them at all costs.
3. Ask for help from a higher authority. Maybe the New York Times, or the Washington Post.
4. Continue to take personal inventory, and, if you are wrong, which you are not, promptly admit it.
5. Ask God to have mercy on his soul because he is going to need it.
Now don’t you feel better.
The Spin Doctor 