No One is Forcing You

January 28, 2019

I read today in the New York Times that Ginni Thomas, wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, visited with President Trump this week with her right wing cohorts and agenda. Putting aside the propriety of meeting with the wife of a Supreme Court Justice to discuss political matters, what is up with these faux conservatives? I thought conservatives were for keeping the government out of our private lives.

No one is forcing you have to get an abortion. Roe vs. Wade says that a woman has a right to privacy, and can choose what is best for her and her family under very difficult and extremely complicated circumstances. No one is preventing you from praying in school or anywhere else. You can pray anytime you want to as long as it not organized and/or mandated by a governmental entity. No one is forcing you to marry someone of the same sex. No one is even forcing you to like a gay individual, or recognize gay marriage in your place of worship. The law just says you cannot discriminate against gay individuals. No one says you have to serve in the military even though that might be a good idea. Why are you opposing anyone who willingly volunteers for hazardous duty? No one says you cannot have a gun. All we are asking is that you use it responsibly.

What’s My Name?

January 25, 2019

During the height of the Viet Nam War, then heavyweight champion of the world, Cassius Clay, changed his name to Muhammad Ali to fully embrace his adopted religion of Islam. Ali was pilloried for claiming conscientious objector status, and refusing to report for active duty. He was eventually stripped of his title. This was the lead up to his 1967 championship bout with Ernie Terrell. Terrell refused to use Clay’s new name. Ali called Terrell an “Uncle Tom.” During the fight, Ali savagely beat Terrell, refusing to knock him out, all the while, yelling “What’s my name?” Two years earlier, Ali also punished Floyd Patterson for not using his Muslim name.

Fast forward to today where we have another epic heavyweight battle between Donald Trump and Nancy Pelosi. Trump is famous for his puerile habit of calling people names like “Lying Ted,” and “Low Energy Jeb.” However, he cannot come up with a name for Nancy Pelosi, saying I just call her Nancy. Is it out of fear or respect? Who knows? However, I have a suggestion. She has shown you the appropriate respect for your office by calling you Mr. President. Why not call her Madam (and not “Madame” as you Tweeted) Speaker or The Honorable Nancy Pelosi. Until you do, I think she should torture you like Ali tortured Terrell, and we know who won that fight.

Infrastructure

January 23, 2019

Everyone agrees that we need to spend billions, if not trillions, of dollars on a massive infrastructure program. Roads, bridges, airports, and train service are decaying. Broad-band internet service lags many industrialized countries. I could go on. The political and financial problem is where is the money going to come from to pay for this program? Trump should have made this his top priority rather than focusing on repealing Obama care, and pushing through a huge corporate tax cut. I think many Republicans would agree. We are now living with the fallout. The federal deficit is growing, and the economy is slowing.

It seems to me that some of our most successful companies are the most dependent on public infrastructure. Amazon, like Apple, Google, and Microsoft, is fabulously successful. However, what happens when you order something from a company like Amazon? You place the order over the public internet. A worker, who either drove to work on public roads or took a train or subway to work, packages your order, and puts it on a truck. The truck travels on public highways, probably heading to a public airport. Once it arrives at its destination, it goes back on a truck, which goes back on public roads and over bridges until it gets to your home.

Given this scenario, I think it’s time to roll back the corporate tax cut, and get serious about infrastructure. The corporate tax cut has crowded out all other government initiatives, which is exactly what it was designed to do. Good luck to any company when it has to deal with potholes, unsafe bridges, slow and unreliable train service, and crowded airports.

A Few Good Women

January 21, 2019

You can’t handle the truth! Honey, we live in a world that needs medieval walls, and those walls have to be guarded by white men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez? I have a greater responsibility than I can possibly fathom. You weep for the separated families, and you curse ICE. You have the luxury. You have the luxury of knowing what I do not know, that a child’s death, while tragic, probably didn’t save any lives; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, destroys hope. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about in caucuses, you want me buried under that wall. You need me buried under that wall! I use words like terror, rape, and robbery. I use these words as the backbone of a life spent discriminating against immigrants. I use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a Hispanic woman who rises and sleeps under the serape of the very racist statements that I utter, and then questions the manner in which I utter them! I’d rather you just said “gracias,” and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either, way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to!

A Few Good Men

January 19, 2019

You can’t handle the truth! Son we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it you? You Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility that you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have the luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that Santiago’s death while tragic, probably saved lives; and my existence while grotesque, and incomprehensible, to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall! We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something, you use them as a punchline. I have neither the time, nor the inclination to explain myself, to a man who rises and sleeps, under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide them! I’d rather you just said ‘thank you’, and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn, what you think you are entitled to!

My Favorite Spinning Instructors

January 17, 2019

1. Greta Garbo: “I want to be alone.” She walks in with her head down, doesn’t make eye contact, never says hello, and does not introduce herself before the class. She never addresses anyone by name, and never talks to anyone during the workout. Her motto is, “This class would be great if it wasn’t for the students.”

2. Kim Khardashian: It’s all about me. Her only purpose for leading the class is to get a good workout in before her next event. You are welcome to join her, but don’t get in her way. It is going to be a grueling workout with no water or rest breaks. God help you if you are new because you probably won’t be coming back.

3. “Cee-Lo Green: It is all about the music…the louder, the better. He fancies himself as the Aviici of the spinning set. He turns the bass up so high that what you think is your heart getting a workout is actually the bass crashing into your rib cage. He turns up the music so loud that you can’t hear what he is saying, which may be a benefit.

4. Sir Edmund Hillary: There is only one hand position, and one position only, and that is #3. It is climb, climb, climb. If you came for a cardiovascular workout, you are in the wrong place. Try the elliptical instead. Climbing is okay until you realize that his only purpose to the workout is to get himself ready for ski season.

5. Bill Murray: Everyday is Groundhog Day. He has been doing the same workout to the same music for years. It is a little bit like going to The Rocky Horror Picture Show where everyone lip syncs with the actors. He really doesn’t care if you follow along or not. The reality is you don’t really need him or his music.

6. The White Rabbit: “I’m late, I’m late…for a very important date.” She is never on time, and is never ready. Her microphone doesn’t work, she can’t figure out the music system, her bike is not set up, and she isn’t even dressed. If you need someone to help you set up your own bike, you are out of luck. You will have to ask the people around you, who probably know more about spinning than she does.

7. Retro Rick: All he plays is music from the 80’s and earlier because that is all he owns, and he is too cheap to subscribe to a music service. Worse than that, it is all the worst music from that period. Can you say “Jeremiah was a bullfrog?”

Really?

January 15, 2019

I recently had a friend and Trump-supporter say that at least Trump is better than Jimmy Carter. I said, “Really?” Are we talking about the same Jimmy Carter who went to the Naval Academy? Are we talking about the same Jimmy Carter, who served his country in the Navy, and then went on to be Governor of Georgia? The same Jimmy Carter who brought Israel and Egypt together in the Camp David Accords? And the same Jimmy Carter who won a Nobel Peace Prize? That Jimmy Carter?

Happy New Year, Vladimir

January 15, 2019

We all start the New Year with the best of intentions and resolutions. We usually make too many, and we often come up woefully short. Here are Vladimir Putin’s New Year’s resolutions.

1. Have a U.S. president advocate for withdrawal from NATO.

2. Have a U.S. president actively work towards lifting sanctions against Russia and its oligarchs.

3. Have a U.S. president look the other way regarding Crimea and the Ukraine.

4. Have a U.S. president withdraw all troops from Syria.

5. Have a U.S. president undermine and discredit his own intelligence community.

6. Have a U.S. president deny Russian election interference.

7. Have a U.S. president willing to ignore state-sponsored assassinations.

8. Have a U.S president denigrate the media.

8. Have a “useful idiot” in the White House.

Clearly, Putin is going to do better achieving his New Year’s resolutions than me. Happy New Year, Vladimir?