July 16, 2024

I should have written this column in time for Flag Day, but I got busy. That’s on me. The summer flies by with golf, baseball, beach excursions, barbecues, family visits, get-togethers with friends, and so on. Before you know it, it’s Labor Day, and you know what comes after that. Anyway, back to flags. Growing up, I never really thought about the American flag very much. It was something we pledged allegiance to every day in grade school. We sang the National Anthem to the flag “whose broad stripes and bright stars…were so gallantly streaming.” My father-in-law, a WWII veteran, would raise the Stars and Stripes every morning, and take it down every night. And then, Vietnam happened.

All of a sudden, protestors started burning the flag along with their draft cards in reaction to the war. The protestors would say, with some justification, that they weren’t protesting against the United States and its flag, but against a corrupt administration that got us into an unnecessary conflict. Regardless, the flag became a divisive symbol rather than a unifying one. The flag took on political overtones. If you flew the flag, some people took it to mean that you were supporting one party over another. The damage had been done.

Fast forward to today. We are well beyond the days when everyone was wearing a U.S. flag lapel pin in support of the victims of September 11th, and our efforts to fight international terrorism. The U.S. flag has once again become a cudgel against imagined enemies.

Flags have taken on a life of their own. During the January 6th insurrection at the nation’s Capitol, insurrectionists brandished American flags like weapons. Some in the crowd sharpened the ends of their flags so they could be used as spears. Some on the steps of the Capitol flew the flag upside down in protest, which became a symbol of the “Stop the Steal” movement. Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito actually had the flag flying upside down at his home in support of the insurrectionists. Alito’s only explanation was that his wife had a penchant for flags. Trump supporters drive around in their pick up trucks defiantly flying the flag from every window. They are not saying let’s rally around the flag as a united nation. What they are saying is that this is my country, love it or leave it, and we would be happier if you just left it. Trump grotesquely and creepily hugged the flag at his rallies. That’s an image you can never unsee. He proudly features a recording of the J6 Choir at his rallies, who did their own rendition of the National Anthem. People feel free to fly the Confederate flag in Trump’s America. People hang “Trump 2024” flags from flagpoles once reserved only for the American flag. Flags from the American Revolution have been appropriated by MAGA Republicans to symbolize the holy war they imagine they are waging. The “Don’t Tread On Me” flag designed by Colonel Christopher Gadsden in 1775 as a warning to the British of what would happen if the Crown tried to take away the Colony’s rights is such a flag.

Right-wingers bristle at the multi-colored, Pride rainbow flag used by the LGBTQ+ community. This flag isn’t saying that this is my America, and you have no place in it. What it is saying is that this is an America that belongs to all of us, and we just want to be a part of it. It’s a flag of inclusion, not exclusion. It’s not a threat. It’s a peace offering.

The next election will determine, for now, which flag we will be flying, saluting, and pledging allegiance to. Will we be honoring the flag the our Olympic athletes will be wrapping themselves in? Will we be saluting the only flag at the Olympics that bows to no one? Or will we be facing a flag the demands fealty to a would-be autocrat, who plans on destroying everything that it stands for as he kowtows to the Putin’s of the world, seeks redemption and retribution on his enemies, bends the mechanisms of government to his will, and unleashes undemocratic forces on the country we all know and love. The next time you see the American flag, remember what it really stands for…”ONE nation, under god, indivisible, with liberty and justice for ALL.

July, 6, 2024

The Summer Olympic Games is a major, international, multi-sport event held every four years. The first Games took place in 1896 in Athens, Greece, and the most recent Games were held in 2021 in Tokyo, Japan. The next Games will be held in Paris starting July 26th. My first recollection of the Summer Olympics was watching the 1960 games from Rome on a tiny, black and white TV. The pseudo-amateurs of the Soviet Union won the medal count, which was a huge issue at the height of the Cold War. Sputnik had been launched just three years earlier. The Cuban Missile Crisis would come two years later. The 1960 Olympics are remembered for Wilma Rudolph, a Tennessee A&M track star, who won three gold medals after battling childhood polio. Abebe Bikele from Ethiopia won the marathon running barefoot. German Armen Hary upset the American favorite and world number one, Ray Norton, in the 100 meters. Boston University’s own, John Thomas, was upset by Russian Valeriy Brumel in the high jump. The original, gold medal-winning, dream team of 1960 had Jerry West, Oscar Robertson, Jerry Lucas, and Walt Bellamy among others. Apologies to Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, and Magic Johnson. And who can forget, if you were actually alive, the decathlon duel between Rafer Johnson of the U.S. and C.K. Yang of Taiwan?

Recently, I have been watching the Olympic trials in swimming from Indianapolis, IN, diving from Knoxville, TN, and track and field from Eugene, OR. The human stories are almost as compelling as the athletic ones. There are stories of athletes who gave up on themselves, but came back because the people around them did not. There are women who recently went through child birth. There have been upsets. There is the thrill of victory epitomized by Ana Hall in the Heptathlon, and the agony of defeat as Athing Mu, the 2021 gold medalist in the 800 meters, tripped and fell in the finals. Fourteen year olds are competing in their first trials, and forty-seven year olds in their last. You have men racing against high school boys, one of whom qualified for the 4X400 relay team, and women swimming against high school girls. You have the abject fear of diving off of a ten meter, three story platform, or launching yourself nineteen to twenty feet into the air on a fiberglass pole.

When I watch these athletes from all over the country, I don’t see an America in decline. I don’t see American carnage. I don’t see an America infested with vermin that’s rotting from within. Eugene, OR is not a hellscape. I don’t see athletes who think that everything is rigged, and demand recounts if they lose. Politics is not involved. If you perform, you make the team. I see winners, and not losers. I see athletes whose parents have come from the four corners of the world. Parents came here to give their children a better opportunity as parents have done for generations. One female athlete sought political asylum from Eritrea. There are white, black, Hispanic, and Asian athletes. There are gay athletes. Nikki Hiltz, the trans and non-binary runner, thrilled the crowd in the 1500 meters. The American dream is alive in all of them. You can’t tell them that America is an awful place to live. When they win their events, they wrap themselves up in the American flag, and pose proudly for all to see. They are filled with the satisfaction of a job well done, and the belief of a better future. Rather than bad-mouthing our way of life, we should be celebrating it. For all our faults, we are still the most formidable athletic powerhouse in the world. There are no red athletes, and there are no blue athletes. There are just red, white and blue athletes. China and Russia may tug on our sweatsuits, but we are still number one, which is not too bad for a country that is, according to some, riddled with uncontrollable crime, and saddled with an abysmal economy. Athletes regularly thank their parents, their teammates, their coaches, their country, and God for their success. I don’t see godlessness. I see godliness.

Paul Chiampa

June 19, 2024

It’s a great time of year, and not just because the Boston Celtics are the champions of the National Basketball Association again for the eighteenth time. It’s a great time of year because major news outlets like the New York Times and The Atlantic are rolling out their summer reading lists, and book groups around the country are deciding on which books they are going to read starting in the fall. We are all on pins and needles waiting to see what the President of the United States is going to read on vacation. Presidents Clinton and Obama would famously depart for Martha’s Vineyard with an arm full of books. The media would salivate over the names, and attempt to psychoanalyze each President about the books selected. Aides would hustle to the book store to make sure they were reading what the boss was reading. I am sure that Donald Trump will curl up with his gold-leafed version of the Holy Bible at Mar-a-Lago while he curates a WWIII reading list.

I belong to an online book group that started in March, 2020, just in time for COVID when many were pondering their own mortality. The theme of the book group is “Aging Athletes.” We are made up of mostly college classmates, who were former athletes, and are currently involved in athletics as active participants and/or coaches, and are aging. We have an Olympic rower, two football players, a wrestler, two track athletes, a cyclist, and me. One of our participants, who was also an Olympic rower and physician from Northampton, sadly passed away about a year ago. We read, review, and discuss books that help people like ourselves deal with the inevitable decline of physical and mental skills. Here is our reading list to date.

Sports Gene, David Epstein

Endure, Alex Hutchinson

Play On, Jeff Bercovici

Right Call, Sally Jenkins

Remember, Lisa Genova

Open, Andre Agassi

Exercise is Medicine, Judy Foreman

Keep Sharp, Sanjay Gupta

Peak, Mark Bubbs

The Body, Bill Bryson

Sweat, Bill Hayes

Exercised, Daniel Lieberman

Younger Next Year, Crowley & Lodge

Fast After Fifty, Joel Friel

Thanks to Jon Gorham of Woodbridge, CT for starting the group, leading the discussions, and taking on the hopeless task of keeping us focused. He has gleaned many chestnuts since we began from the books we have read. Here are some of the concepts that I believe are worth considering no matter what your age.

1. Exercise is its own reward. Youth isn’t about distancing yourself from death. It’s about the opportunity to challenge yourself to grow, to feel like a beginner with much room from improvement.

2. Exercise will grow you younger. Caring about others will grow you happier. In order to walk the road to altruism, you need the three C’s: Connect, Care, Commit.

3. Fitness is the ability to do a task. Health is your overall well-being. Exercise can turn on your smart genes, support emotional stability and stave off depression and dementia.

4. The future of human performance is unlocking the power of the brain. Mindfulness is the gateway to that potential.

5. Five keys to brain resiliency: 1) exercise and movement, 2) having a sense of purpose, 3) sleep and relaxation, 4) nutrition, 5) social connection

6. Of all the things that your brain can do, memory is king. Memory gives you your sense of who you are, and who you have been.

7. Good practice is purposeful, detailed, and prioritized. Self-discipline is a form of freedom, freedom from laziness and lethargy, and freedom from expectations.

8. Endurance exercise can boost mitochondria. High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) can’t be beat for the biggest gains in the shortest amount of time.

9. You can grow old gracefully with joy.

10. George Bernard Shaw said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.”

May 21, 2024

Two men strike up a conversation at a bar.

First man asks: “Where did you go to school?”

Second man responds: “Florida Atlantic University.”

First man then asks: “Where is Florida Atlantic University?

The second man responds: “Florida Atlantic is in Boca Raton.”

The second man follows up: “Where did you go to school?

The first man responds: “I went to Harvard.”

The second man inquires: “Where is Harvard at?”

The first man replies: Harvard is in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and, my good man, you should never end a sentence with a preposition.”

After giving it some thought, the second man rephrases his question: “Where is Harvard at, a#*hole?”

Language is a complicated thing with all sorts of rules and taboos. You can’t end a sentence with a preposition, or can you? You shouldn’t split infinitives. God forbid your modifier is dangling. How do you feel about double negatives? Do you use apostrophes, hyphens, and semicolons correctly? Do you adhere to the Oxford comma? (Refer to the last sentence for an example of such.) As it turns out, grammar and grammar usage is a living and breathing organism that is continually adapting and evolving over time. Constructs that we take for granted or as immutable today were often (Is it pronounced off-ten or off-in?) very different years ago. For example, “yours” wasn’t always spelled that way. Once, it was spelt “your’s.” There are hundreds of examples like this that drive grammar scolds crazy, and are highlighted in Anne Curzan’s book, “Says Who,” or is it “Who Says?” It’s “Says Who.” She is a Professor of English at the University of Michigan.

Grammar is important. Comedian Norm McDonald once reported on Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update, “Yippee, Jerry Rubin is dead,” which is what you get when you add a comma to “Yippie Jerry Rubin is dead.” Commas can kill. The biggest word geek of all time may have been our own Noah Webster. In 1831, George and Charles Merriam founded Merriam-Webster as the G & C Merriam Co. in Springfield, Massachusetts. In 1843, after Noah Webster died, the company bought the rights to An American Dictionary of the English Language from Webster’s estate. All Merriam-Webster dictionaries trace their lineage to this source. My wife and daughter can also trace their lineage to Noah Webster. Me, not so much. Anne Curzan coined a word that better describes the inner word nerd in all of us; the inner word nerd, who screams when they hear the word “less” when it should be “fewer.” Hmmm…shouldn’t the word “they” in the previous sentence be singular? Anyway, her word is “grammando.” As in, when he heard someone use the word “good” as an adverb, he went full grammando.

Politics is not immune to discussions over language. For years, William Safire, an American author, columnist, journalist, and presidential speechwriter wrote the “On Language” column in The New York Times Magazine about popular etymology, new or unusual usages, and other language-related topics. Today, we have heated discussions over what is called political correctness. Locally, the Easthampton School Committee was embroiled in a controversy over an e-mail sent by the leading candidate for the Superintendent’s position that used the word “ladies,” which was considered a microaggression, which is a word that actually appears in the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

The PC debate revolves around two key questions according to Curzan.

“What is actually involved in using language that is inclusive and not known to be offensive?”

“Do these efforts to promote inclusive language inappropriately curb our freedom of speech and even silence people?”

First off, we need to put aside the term “political correctness” because it makes many people go crazy. There are good grammarians on both sides after all. The famous basketball player, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, simply defined it as “a relatively benign combination of good old-fashioned manners and simple sensitivity.” But (Is it okay to start a sentence with the word “but”? Yes.) debates about language are almost always about more than just language. As Curzan goes on to write, “…debates about inclusive and sensitive language are about who has the power to call the linguistic shots about what language is and isn’t inclusive.” Language has never been neutral. Anyone who is Italian, Irish, Polish, Jewish, Mexican, Puerto Rican, Asian, African, or gay can tell you that. (There’s that Oxford comma again.) As these groups gained more power, the derogatory terms used against them became taboo. Some words we can’t even say. Preferred terms for groups do change over time, thus the controversy over using the term “ladies” versus women. Unfortunately, in an attempt to be more inclusive, we sometimes overshoot the mark. I thought Harvard overshot in 2016 when it changed the title of the heads of its residential Houses from Master to Faculty Dean. Harvard didn’t intend for the title “Master” to be hurtful because its roots are from centuries-old European terms for a teacher or a head of a household, but some took it that way. Clearly, some of us need to be more aware of how certain language, whether intentional or not, has the power to hurt, and some of us need to chill out about the slightest of linguistic infractions.

May 13, 2024

“Why can’t they be like we were

Perfect in every way

What’s the matter with kid’s today?”

That’s a very good question. Every generation has had its own seminal events to deal with. The Greatest Generation had The Depression and WW II. Baby Boomers saw the enactment of the Environmental Protection Act, the Voting Rights Act, and Roe vs. Wade, and lived through Viet Nam and Woodstock. Today’s young adults were born in nineties and the aughts so it is worth taking a look at their life experiences before we make any critical judgements about their character or try to guess how they are going to vote.

The Columbine High School shooting occurred in Jefferson County, Colorado on April 20, 1999, when Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold walked in and massacred 12 students and one teacher, and injured 20 others before committing suicide. Since then, we have had a steady stream of mass shootings at schools, Sandy Hook probably being the most infamous. As a result, this generation has practiced active shooter drills in school for their entire lives, and, at the same time, watched the NRA get ever stronger and more influential.

Time magazine ran a story in 2022 titled “Climate Change Became Politicized in the 1990s. It Didn’t Have To Be That Way.” These Gen X’ers and Gen Y’ers have experienced a world where temperatures are rising, storms are getting stronger, droughts are getting worse, glaciers are melting, oceans are warming and rising, populations are being displaced, coral reefs are dying, species are disappearing, and more. Young adults are extremely sanguine about their environmental future.

Americans owe $1.74 trillion in education debt. Among all borrowers, the average student loan debt in 2023 was $38,290. 47% of the total outstanding federal loan debt is held by 10% of borrowers, who owe $80,000 or more. The student debt problem started in the 1960’s when Gov. Ronald Reagan of California cut funding for higher education, and raised tuition. At that time, public higher education was virtually free. Today, funding for higher education is closer to 13%, forcing students and their families to make up the difference.

This is the COVID generation. Many of these young adults spent a good part of their high school and college years in lock down and on Zoom. They lost social contact with their peers. 33% reported job loss, reduced hours, or taking leave. Youth were twice as likely to report losing their jobs compared to adult workers (19% v 10%). According to Forbes, young adults are having a challenging time finding good, well-paying jobs. The job market is extremely competitive, as more and more Americans attain college degrees. Furthermore, employers are requiring unrealistic professional experience for entry-level positions, making it difficult for recent graduates to compete in the job market. Job listings often require three to five or more years of relevant experience.

The average price of home has gone from about $120,000 in 1990 to $425,000 today. The average young adult believes that buying a home is just a pipe dream. With mortgage interest rates hovering around 7%, the real dream of owning a home is even more remote. This group has lived through the Great Recession of 2008 where many people saw their life savings and their homes evaporate.

Young people see people in their 60’s and beyond living the dream in retirement while they are required to pay into a Social Security system that may be quite different when they get there. They see seniors retiring to Florida, living in places like The Villages, playing golf, and essentially reaping the benefits that were bestowed on them decades ago via educational subsidies, good-paying jobs, and affordable housing. Joseph Coughlin, in his book “The Longevity Economy,” discusses the aging crisis that countries like the US and Japan face. Japangave rise to the slogan “Hurry up and die.”

A national poll released by the Institute of Politics at Harvard’s Kennedy School indicated that, among 18-to-29-year-olds, more than half said that they will definitely be voting in the Presidential election this Fall. The poll also found that there was broad support for a permanent ceasefire in the Israel-Hamas war. Economic concerns continued to be top of mind for young voters, and their confidence in public institutions continued to decline. Which way they will vote is anyone’s guess even though polls see a major tilt towards President Biden. However, I think what they are essentially saying and feeling is a pox on both your houses.

Paul Chiampa

May 2, 2024

There is a terrific and heartwarming show on HBO-Max called “The Dog House-UK.” It originates from a place called Wood Green, which is an animal charity in Cambridgeshire, England that takes in hundreds of disowned or neglected dogs every year. The show, now in its fifth season, follows the work of dedicated staff members, who are committed to matching their abandoned dogs with loving owners and a forever home. People come from all over England with their own back stories to find their perfect match. Some people are looking for companionship after the loss of a loved one. Some gay couples are looking for a puppy in lieu of having their own children. Some people are hard to live with, and know that only a dog will give them unqualified love. Some people already have a dog, and the dog needs a companion. And some people are just dog people, and cannot imagine living without a dog.

Dogs of all shapes and sizes wind up at Wood Green with their own back stories. Some are there because their owners had been hospitalized or had passed away. Some had been abandoned. Some were raised for racing, and, when their racing days were over or they were injured, were set free. Some dogs couldn’t get along with young children. In some cases, the owners could not afford expensive medical treatments. Some dogs had a thing for cats. And yes, some were difficult to train. There were as many reasons to bring a dog to Wood Green as there are breeds of dogs. It is heart-wrenching to see owners, who are no longer capable of adequately taking care of their dogs, having to turn their dogs over to the animal shelter. While they know they are doing what is right for the dog, it makes the selfless act no less agonizing.

What the owners did not do was shove their dogs into a gravel pit, and blow their brains out because of bad behavior, an inability to train the dog, or because the dog had become inconvenient or burdensome. As it turns out, people don’t do things like that. Monsters do, and it turns out that Kristi Noem, the Governor of South Dakota, is such a person. She shot and killed her fourteen month old puppy because the puppy was not acting appropriately as a hunting dog. She bragged about it in an upcoming memoir as an indicator of how tough people have to make tough decisions. And I thought that tough people just made tender chickens.

My first thought when I heard the unbelievable story was the scene from the movie “My Cousin Vinnie” when Marisa Tomei chastises Joe Pesci about being concerned about what pants he was going to wear on his hunting trip. “Imagine you’re a deer. You’re prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water… BAM! A bullet rips off part of your “ bleeping” head.”

Some people theorize that she was just trying to impress The Boss (Donald, not Bruce) in the Vice Presidential sweepstakes. With this episode in the books, I think that, ironically, that dog won’t hunt. It is amazing the lengths that people will go to ingratiate themselves to Donald Trump. The list of people that have gone to jail for this man in lengthy and growing. Hundreds of January 6th obstructionists, Michael Cohen, Allen Weisselberg, Peter Navarro, Steve Bannon, Paul Manafort, George Papadopoulos, Roger Stone, and Rick Gates to name a few have gone to jail, or been pardoned by Trump. At the end of his term in office, Trump was handing out pardons to his sycophants like doggie treats. Ironically, Trump is the first President to not own a pet of any kind since Chester A. Arthur. Even Nelson Mandela, who Trump likes to compare himself to, owned a dog, a Rhodesian Ridgeback. However, to be fair, there is no evidence that Jesus Christ, who Trump also compares himself to, owned a dog.

Pope Francis, while consoling a “distraught little boy whose dog had died,” told him “Paradise is open to all of God’s creatures.” This doesn’t mean that the Pope was saying that little puppies have souls and will go to heaven. What it does mean, however, is that anyone who would senselessly shoot a puppy is absolutely soulless.

Paul Chiampa

… While you’re strolling down the fairway
Showing no remorse
Glowing from the poisons
They’ve sprayed on your golf course
While you’re busy sinking birdies
And keeping your scorecard
The devil’s been busy in your backyard

April 30, 2024

From the movie “My Governor Kristi”:

Before going hunting, Kristi Noem, Governor of North Dakota, asks her husband which color of lipstick she should wear. Her husband responds:

“Imagine you’re a fourteen month old puppy. He’s prancing along, he spots a a squirrel and chases after it, scaring away the deer you are hunting. You get pissed off. The puppy spots a little brook, he puts his little puppy lips down to drink the cool clear water, and BAM! You rip off a part of his head with a fuckin bullet. His brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces! Now I ask ya. Would he give a fuck what color of lipstick you were wearing?”

April 4, 2024

It’s nice to be back from the place whose only reason for existence is the weather. Fortunately, the weather did not disappoint. We took a boat tour on Sarasota Bay, had cocktails on a rooftop bar overlooking the ocean, and otherwise did what retirees do in Florida, complain and spend money. As a Massachusetts resident, I have a real problem with Florida’s business model, which is to take all of the assets accumulated in states like ours, and have them transferred. Florida needs to figure out a way to create its own wealth that doesn’t involve tourism and encouraging retirees to change their residencies. But I digress.

Traveling around and through Florida is a cultural experience and education, and makes one grateful for living in a place like Massachusetts which is not perfect by any stretch of imagination, but at least we are not the butt of “Massachusetts Man” memes. Just traveling is a chore. The thought of having to run out to buy a loaf of bread sends chills down one’s spine. Congestion is rampant, and one could die of older age waiting for the light to change. If you like strip malls, you will be in heaven. Otherwise, it’s hell. And did Florida invent the suicide lane to prune the elderly?

The first thing that I noticed in entering the state was the proclivity to fly the Confederate flag, and not just any Confederate flag. I am not talking about the type of flag you might hang from your own flagpole. I am talking about flags that look like the size of a football field. The message is clear, and it is frightening. On the plus side, Florida still supports free speech…to a point.

In a state that prides itself on being in the Bible Belt, there were signs everywhere that were less than Christian. I saw a bumper sticker that attacked “Joe and the Ho” and was framed by AR-15’s. One bumper sticker said “God Bless Trump.” It is apparently okay to put images of Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary on bumper stickers and window decals as well. There was the typical, “Don’t Blame Me, I Voted for Trump,” but it wasn’t clear what he was being blamed for. As it turns out, “Real Men Love Babies.” Who knew? There was one billboard that went by too quickly, but it said something about immunity, impunity and illegitimacy. It could have been about Trump, immigrants or abortion. Who knows? The Trump stamp seemed to be everywhere. Trump has an affinity for the people of the Orange State, and they have an affinity for the color orange.

Governor Ron DeSantis is fond of saying that Florida is where woke goes to die. After it retires, I guess. He stared into the face of COVID, didn’t blink, and joined forces with the anti-vaxxers. Guess what is making a comeback in Florida like an aging crooner at The Fontainebleau? Measles. “Leading the nation again, Florida successfully balances personal responsibility, parent’s rights, and public health.” When DeSantis wasn’t extolling the virtues of getting measles, he was cracking down on social media saying it was the government’s responsibility to control free speech, specifically the speech that was unkind to him and his kind. He threatened to resume charter flights to Martha’s Vineyard. He relaxed child labor laws because children were not working hard enough, and he reached a settlement with Mickey Mouse. Lastly, he was pushing, as if it needed to be pushed, the Florida legislature to impose a six week abortion ban. Wow! With a track record like that, he should consider running for President.

Spring Break was more like Jail Break this year. College students from all over the country go to Florida every year to do stuff they would never think of doing in a real state. Things got so out of hand that Miami officials asked students to move up the street to Ft. Lauderdale. Before you know it, they will have to go to Daytona Beach, and what could go wrong there?

Not to be entirely negative on the Sunshine State, Florida is cracking down on drivers, who linger in the left hand lane. The left hand lane is for passing, but you wouldn’t know it in Florida. These people need to be rounded up, put on a plane, and sent to Nantucket.

My favorite sign, however, appeared on the message board of a local high school. It simply said, “Be Kind, Be Respectful, Go Indians!”

N.B. In the spirit of full disclosure, for the record, and in keeping with journalistic ethics, I was a Florida resident for nine years.

March 25, 2024

“I, Donald Trump, take you, Ivana, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.”

“I, Donald Trump, take you, Marla, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.”

“I, Donald Trump, take you, Melania, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.” (to be continued)

“I, Donald Trump, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me god.”

“I, Donald Trump, promise to practice honesty and not mislead customers. I promise to adhere to qualities of fairness. I promise to operate with the highest level of integrity, which entails acting honestly and ethically when dealing with all parties to reduce controversy and avoid going to court. (Real Estate Code of Ethics)

“I, Donald Trump, certify that the Trump Foundation meets the IRS requirements that the foundation annually distributes income for charitable purposes; limits its holdings in private businesses; has provisions that investments must not jeopardize the carrying out of exempt purposes; and has provisions to assure that expenditures are for tax-exempt purposes only.”