State of Disunion

January 1, 2020

“Crazy like a fox” Nancy Pelosi is withholding sending the articles of impeachment to the Senate until she knows how the Senate trial will be conducted. Will we have witnesses and documents? That sounds fair and balanced to me, but it is ironically making the President crazy as evidenced by his volume of tweets. Pelosi has taken up residence rent free inside Trump’s head, and Trump can’t figure out how to evict her. Maybe if she were black.

In addition to crazy, Trump has called her nervous, unhinged, a religious hypocrite, and made snide remarks about her teeth. Despite all that, House Speaker Pelosi invited the President to address the country in the State of the Union on February 4th, barring another government shutdown. I do smell, however, the faint odor of revenge in the air. It is not inconceivable that Trump would have to face the Congress, the Supreme Court, the Joint Chiefs, and the American people as he was being tried for abuse of power and obstruction of Congress in the Senate. “Revenge is a dish best served cold” as someone once said. Who is crazy now?

The Rise of Skywalker?

December 31, 2019

Once upon a time, in a galaxy not too far far away, there existed an evil ruler named Trumpatine. He governed from the dark side. His rule was cruel and ruthless. He humiliated and destroyed his enemies. He separated children from their families, and conscripted them to become storm troopers. He did away with all of the democratic values cherished by the Republic. His followers wore hats that said “Make the Galaxy Great Again.” They chanted chilling refrains at his rallies like “lock her up” and “send them back.” His goal was to crush the Resistance, whom he called “enemies of the people.” Only the Force stood in his way.

The Resistance, despite being made of a majority of people from throughout the galaxy, was ineffectual. It was a loosely knit collection of freedom fighters from different backgrounds, speaking different languages, and proposing different solutions. There was no acknowledged leader. There were seasoned fighters from the Northeast Sector, but their best fighting days were behind them. They had bold ideas, but their ideas exceeded the galaxy’s resources. There were fighters from the Central Sector willing to step up, but they lacked experience. The former leader of The Resistance, Obama Won Kenobi, provided wisdom and guidance, but was reluctant to identify and mentor a new leader. Princess Secretary Hillary was on her death bed, her powers having been greatly diminished. Bernie the big, furry, creature with the lovable way of roaring had been there since the beginning, but he had health issues, and no one would mistake him for the next Jedi.

Han Biden would have been the natural leader, but he had been killed by his son, who had gone to the dark side. The last Jedi master, Bill Skywalker, had gone into hiding, vowing never to come back again.

The Republic was in peril. Who would the be next Jedi to lead The Resistance and save The Republic? Who would learn to harness The Force for the betterment of mankind? The galaxy awaited the answer, but time was running out.

Aging Super Heroes

The

December 24, 2019

As we make preparations to see the last episode in the Star Wars adventure, here are some other super heroes who are long in the tooth.

1. Spider “Vein” Man

2. Iron “Lung” Man

3. The Dependers

4. The “Hot” Flash

5. Wonder “Who I Am” Woman

6. Super “Senior” Man

7. C’Ant Man

8. Bat “Shit Crazy” Man

9. The Gangrene Lantern

10. The Incredible Bulk

11. Sore

12. Black Panter

13. The Fan “Spastic” Four

14. CaNt Woman

15. Awkward Man

16. “Can you give me a” Han Solo

Us vs. Them

December 22, 2019

Us versus Them. That is what Donald Trump and his allies plan on making the next election about. How mature? After being in power for three years, it is still about the politics of grievance and divisiveness. He has pitted immigrants against citizens, nationalists against Americans, men against women, blacks against whites, Republicans against each other, facts against fiction. So much for growing into the job. The only thing that is growing is a “cancer on the Presidency.” Now he is dividing the Evangelical community. What took them so long? Apparently, if you are not for Trump, you are not a good Christian. And I thought there were good Christians on both sides. The days are officially getting longer, and I pray that Trump’s days are getting shorter.

Tribalism

December 17, 2019

Be careful what you ask for. Trump never had any desire to bring the country together. His strategy was to divide and conquer, and it has worked to a point. He built a coalition of one percenters, Evangelicals, and blue collar workers. He demonized everyone else. Now, the vote on impeachment is a perfect reflection of his politics of revenge. He has forced everyone to their corners, and the votes, both in the House and in the Senate, are totally predictable. It is a shame that his politics of personal destruction could not have been replaced by a politics of reconciliation. Doris Kearny’s Goodwin quotes Abraham Lincoln in her on “Leadership.” Abraham Lincoln “feared that in the chaos of mob-like behavior, men of the likes of “an Alexander, a Caesar, or a Napoleon” would likely seek distinction by boldly setting themselves “to the task of pulling down.” Such men of “towering” egos, in whom ambition is divorced from the people’s best interests, were not men to lead a democracy; they were despots.”

The Democrats have not been trying since the election to get Trump impeached. Rather, Trump has been trying since the election to get himself impeached. In a strange way, Democrats are doing Republicans a favor. They will be impeaching Trump, and sending a clear message to the President that this is not acceptable or normal behavior. I hope most Republicans agree and are okay with the President getting his hand slapped as long as they don’t get blood on their own hands. However, after making comparisons to Jesus, Stalin, Joe McCarthy, Tojo, and the Salem witch trials, I don’t think so.

Eddie Murphy

December 16, 2019

Eddie Murphy will be hosting Saturday Night Live this week. He has no chance of being President unless, as John Mulaney says, people get real cool about a lot of stuff real soon. However, I would like to see him reprise many of his classic characters as President of the United States.

Eddie Murphy famously played the Little Rascals character, Buckwheat. It was clearly a racist-tinged take on a beloved, but non-PC, character. Would there be anything wrong with President Buckwheat referring to a white person at a campaign rally as “my Caucasian,” and calling Scandinavian countries shit holes.

As Mister Robinson, he played a character, who could reasonably be considered to be a child predator. Would there be anything wrong with President Robinson supporting child predator and Senatorial candidate Roy Moore of Alabama? Would Mr. Robinson have a problem having himself photographed with Jeffrey Epstein?

Velvet Jones was a con artist known for enticing victims to attend his School of Technology for ho’s. Would President Jones have a problem reaching a $20MM settlement with prosecutors over illegal business practices at his university?

Maybe Eddie Murphy as Stevie Wonder should be President. I would trust his vision more than Donald Trump’s.

Hate Letter

December 16, 2019

I guess I am a little surprised that it took this long, but I finally received my first hate letter based on a piece published as a letter to the editor in the Springfield Republican and picked up by MassLive, I think. Coincidentally, the hate letter came on the heels of a recent post titled “Hate,” a piece reflecting on Nancy Pelosi’s assertion that she does not hate anyone, as she was taught as a practicing Catholic. The “letter” was written in almost illegible cursive on a piece of yellow-lined note paper, and came in an envelope with a return address that said “*RNC 2020.” It was signed “John Long, Naples,” and post marked Ft. Myers,” which tells me he really doesn’t live in Naples. I am flattered my writing is traveling.

In well-crafted prose and a coherent rebuttal of fifty words, he said I was, and I quote, a total idiot (not just partial,) uninformed, stupid, ignorant, and a dummy. In my defense, I really have no idea which letter he is referring to. This type of response is a total (not partial) non-sequitor to my last published letter. Non-sequitor is a Latin phrase like quid pro quo. He included local letters to a Naples newspaper rebutting a letter or op-ed that has nothing to do with me. I am guessing he has me confused with someone else.

I can understand his confusion, because, I am surmising, he is an old, angry, white, male, Trump supporter living in a wealthy, gated enclave in Naples, FL. I am guessing he probably spends his days playing golf, making plans for the early bird special, and complaining about “those” people, who are ruining everything. You got the tax cut that your grand children will have to pay for, your healthcare won’t be taken away, and you will not be around when the ocean swallows up your home. Now who is the idiot?

Words We Never Heard

December 15, 2019

Russia, I hope you are listening. I don’t want or need your help in the 2016 election. Everyone knows you hacked Hillary Clinton’s e-mails, and you shouldn’t have done it. As our great President Barack Obama said, “Cut it out.” I am going to win the election fair and square. The American people want me as their President, and it is vital that I am not tainted in anyway by your interference. Your intrusions may make it more difficult for me to govern effectively. And, President Putin, I am going to bring up your meddling strongly and perfectly the next time we meet face-to-face. I will remind you of the huge ability the United States has to wage and win a cyber war. “Don’t mess with me.”