April 4, 2020
Now that millions of Americans are unemployed or furloughed, many people are coming to grips with the thought that this may be what retirement is like. I am sure most of them are not prepared to face the coming apocalypse. Speaking as someone who faced the abyss and survived, my suggestion is to embrace your free time and make the most of it.
Start an exercise program. Walk, run, bike. There are tons of yoga workouts on YouTube. Do anything that will give your heart a boost. The benefits are numerous. Weight loss, increased stamina, better cognition and memory, greater levels of happiness, youthfulness, and a longer life are all documented benefits. Embrace the torn tendons, sore muscles, and other contraindications.
Do you know who Marie Kondo is? Now may be the time. Check her out on NetFlix. You can use your time to clean out your garage, basement, attic, or closets. If anything were to happen to you, you certainly would not want your legacy to be the mess you left for your children. That would not bring them joy.
Try cooking. I trust you remember what that is. Believe it or not, there was a time decades ago when every family cooked every meal. Going out for dinner was a special occasion reserved for birthdays and anniversaries. Coincidentally, when everyone ate at home, we were all thinner. Maybe it was the smoking, but I don’t think so. Put your industrial strength stove and your over the top summer kitchen to good use.
I am trying to learn a foreign language. I have been struggling with Italian for a few years now. As I have discovered, osmosis is not effective strategy for learning. I have been trying to learn Italian, but, sadly, it looks like my best chance of using it is in the North End of Boston.
Try writing something using real prose. No emojis, no shortcuts, no acronyms. Write a letter to someone. Keep a diary of your coronavirus experiences for posterity. Write a letter to the editor. Write your own obituary. That will be a real wake up call.
Call everyone you know to see how they are doing. Reestablish relationships that have gone well beyond their expiration date. Call friends from high school, college, or former work colleagues. Call your relatives whether you like them or not. Don’t rely on social media to stay in touch.
Get a dog. They really don’t give a shit about what is going on. They only care about being fed and you. They need to be walked several times a day, which gives you something to do. See exercise above. Also, you will bump into your neighbors, who you may not know. Dogs can lick each other safely. You need to keep your distance.
I am sure there are plenty of other things you can do to wile away the time. Go to Hobby Lobby, clean your guns, drink heavily, post stupid right wing stuff on Facebook, or watch the Trump Show. Did you really think I would write an entire blog without a snide reference to Donald Trump and his base? This is what I am doing. Be safe.