July 31, 2022
With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, you might be an aggressive driver if…
you tailgate regardless of the speed.
you think that one drink sharpens your senses.
you think that speed limits posted in school zones are just suggestions.
you believe that ten miles over the speed limit is a minimum.
you believe that directional signals are for others.
you are a honker and not a honkee.
you find that running a yellow light is a challenge.
you find that running a red light is a test of manhood.
you give someone the finger at least once a day.
you seethe at the sight of bike riders sharing the road.
your truck has a battering ram for a grill.
your car has more dings and dents than the Green Monster.
you have a skull and crossbones hanging from your mirror.
you list to the right while driving.
the judge at traffic court knows you by your first name.
the sight of a crosswalk is like waving a red cape in front of a bull.
you carry a baseball bat (or worse) because you never know.
your windows are tinted.
your car is festooned with NASCAR and STP stickers.
your Datsun is a stick shift.
you like your chances against a semi-tractor trailer.
The Spin Doctor 