WWE

November 3, 2020

We all know that Donald Trump has an affinity for professional wrestling, appointing Vince McMahon’s wife to run the Small Business Administration. Trump once tweeted out a fake picture of himself fighting a CNN reporter. We all know that professional wrestling is totally fake. It is not being a great athlete. It is about being loud and brash. It is not about being tough. It is about acting tough. We are now in the last round of what we have all been watching for four years. We have been watching a wrestling match between Trump and everyone else, and, in the end, Joe Biden. Trump is the villain. When he enters the ring, he is accompanied by cheers and boos. He is the fat guy in an undersized wrestling singlet, who will grab the microphone from the announcer, scream bloody murder, get his fans riled up, and then beat the announcer with his own microphone. He will slip through the ropes, take off his robe, and reveal a Superman logo.

Trump will do anything to win. He is not confined by the ring. He will grab a chair from a spectator, and pummel his opponent with it. He will enlist the crowd to help him out. He will use illegal choke holds like kneeling on an opponents neck. He will defy all admonitions from the referee. If pushed, he will grab the referee, and throw him out of the ring. Joe Biden, on the other hand, will play rope-a-dope, waiting for this latter day version of Haystack Calhoun to tire himself out. When he has nothing left, Biden will pin his shoulders to the mat, and win the match. Trump will leave the ring bloodied and bowed, being booed all the way.