September 19, 2022
Out of the kindness of his lizard-skinned, alligator heart, Ron DiSantis sent us two plane loads of Venezuelan immigrants. He lied to them, and made them false promises. Despicable is not a strong enough adjective. However, they were welcomed as human beings by the kind people of Martha’s Vineyard because that is what people, dare I say Christian people, do. DiSantis was the Grinch who tried to steal Christmas. In the spirit of fair play, I think we should return the favor.
Let’s start by emptying our jails. Massachusetts is no different from Florida and Texas. We have bad people behind bars. We should gather up the most dangerous criminals incarcerated in Massachusetts prisons, and send them to Palm Beach. We could tell them they are getting a new lease on life courtesy of Ron DiSantis. They would be starting their new lives at a golf resort and club called Mar-a-Lago. Trump has experience hiring illegal immigrants, and, hopefully, he will soon have personal experience with convicted felons.
We could send them bus loads, courtesy of Peter Pan Bus Lines, of QAnon disciples, telling them that they were the chosen ones to visit the promised land. They could be told that they would be participating in the coming storm originating from ground zero at Mar-a-Lago, all at the invitation of the Orange Jesus.
Lastly, we should buy and/or confiscate all of the AR-15’s in Massachusetts, and drop them off in Miami for general distribution. It would be Mass-induced chaos with everyone standing their ground. In the immortal words of Matt Damon, “How do you like them apples?”
The Spin Doctor 